Avoiding Road Rage Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving®

HEADLIGHT FLASHING

Daun Thompson — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 12:00:34 +0000

I remember back in the good old days when headlight flashing was a communication tool. If you flashed your headlights behind someone in the passing lane it was to be interpreted as “Please move over so that I may pass you.” Now, apparently it means “Get the heck out of my way.” Truckers still flash their headlights at you after you have passed them to let you know it’s safe to return to the right lane in front of them. But what about flashing your headlights to let someone know that there is a speed trap ahead of them? You can forget that one too. Now, police may consider that a misuse of headlights (unless they consider the First Amendment).

Other Meanings For Headlight Flashing

I’ve only mentioned three uses for headlight flashing. Here are a few others:

To say “thank you.”
To attract attention, like blowing your horn (an “optical horn”).
To let another driver know that you are yielding the right of way.
To make other drivers aware of road dangers.
To remind another driver that their high beams are on.

Urban Legend or Truth?

Oh yes, and the good old urban legend that has been circulating since the late 1990’s. Do you remember the one about gang initiation? If you are driving after dark and you see an oncoming car with no headlights on, do not flash your headlights at them. Supposedly the legend goes that gang members will kill everyone in the car. And, why would you not believe this could happen since people lose their minds all of the time in traffic. We see it every day in the news.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson

Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Headlight Flashing – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Road Rage

Daun Thompson — Tue, 16 Jan 2018 19:10:59 +0000

Now that the holidays are over, we can get back to being our old, angry selves. How many of us have thought “Let’s just cut the phony business and stop being the nice, caring and giving individuals that we portrayed ourselves to be throughout the holiday season.” Who cares about other people’s feelings? I have feelings of my own to deal with. I noticed that the temporary “niceness” even filtered into driving courtesies until approximately January 1st. As if going back to work wasn’t a big enough let-down, drivers are back to their old cranky selves.

Road rage is the leading cause for accidents. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), 94% of all traffic accidents are caused by driver error. And, of those accidents, 33% could be linked to behaviors typically assigned to road rage, such as illegal maneuvering or misjudging the intent of another driver. I have asked students in my Comedy Defensive Driving class why everyone seems to be in a big hurry. Most, like me, say they don’t manage their time well. And I could benefit from taking my own advice, but leaving for the big commute earlier will not only save you stress, but will also save you money by not having to pay extra to use costly express lanes. Being in a big rush when others don’t seem to inevitably causes us to tailgate. There are unlimited triggers for causing road rage. Some are typical and obvious. I thought I’d compile a list of the top eight. Perhaps you can add to this list and look for these triggers in your own commute to try to be a kinder, more patient driver.

• Tailgating
• Cutting other people off
• Not signaling before changing lanes or turning
• Not yielding
• Blocking drivers from changing lanes
• Passing on the shoulder
• Talking or texting while driving
• Driving in someone’s blind spot

Sometimes being in a road rage situation is unavoidable. But your best bet is to try to pay attention and not offend other drivers. Be courteous and don’t change lanes unless you have room to. Don’t follow too close and don’t hog the passing lane (the left lane). And hand gestures warrant a good butt-whoopin’.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Road Rage – Comedy Defensive Driving

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A Patient Driver

Daun Thompson — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 04:33:42 +0000

Happy Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Winter Solstice…Happy Everything!! I went up to the post office yesterday to mail out my Christmas cards and stolen goods (because they say the best things in life are free…that’s why I shop lift). And you know what I miss? They used to have a bulletin board at the post office with pictures of wanted felons. Now that bulletin board displays pictures of neighborhood people in the military, with a giant banner “Thanks for serving our country,” which is awesome, but I miss those pictures of wanted felons. That’s how I’d find old boyfriends. I’m told that the felon pictures are now displayed at Wal-Mart. Or maybe that’s the Employee of the Month bulletin board. I always get the two confused. The New Year is just a week away. And, like most people, I am considering my New Year resolutions. One of them is “No Lying.” Nah, that’s not even one of them…help me, I can’t stop! I’m actually still working on my list. But I do plan to put forth more effort to be a patient driver.

Lately, I find myself muttering the word “idiot” a lot when I am driving. No more of that business! And, I am going to learn to manage my time better, plan ahead for traffic and leave earlier. Basically, I will need to stop dawdling (or, as my friends call it, “Daun”dling). Time management alone will likely save me hundreds in toll bills, since I won’t be relying on costly express lanes to get me there on time. I don’t even have the stomach to look at how much I spent this year in tolls. After the holiday cheer ends, next comes tax season. I will wait until then to look at that expense. Why ruin my holiday spirit?

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

A Patient Driver – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Slow Drivers and Accidents

Daun Thompson — Tue, 26 Sep 2017 04:33:11 +0000

Although I haven’t seen a “Minimum Speed Limit” sign in my neck of the woods in quite some time, driving under the speed limit or not with the flow of traffic is currently the leading cause for motor vehicle collisions. As we all know, it is also a trigger for road rage. The general rule is that you must drive with the flow of traffic as to not impede or block the normal, reasonable movement of traffic. While it is true that speeding causes more high-impact crashes, resulting in more fatalities, slow drivers cause more crashes than speeders do.

On a multi-lane road, you may be forced to pass on the right because someone is driving too slowly in the passing lane. And disorganization and confusion can definitely lead to traffic accidents. Or, if the slow driver is ahead of you, over a hill or around a curve and you are approaching from behind at a higher speed, you may have to hit your brakes which could lead to a chain reaction of braking. Or, likely a chain of rear-end collisions and, if you are lucky enough to avoid it, at the very least it will certainly lead to road rage.

Of course we all assume that the driver is either a new driver or an elderly driver. But, oftentimes, it is simply a distracted driver. According to Carnegie Mellon research cited by distraction.gov, driving while using a cell phone can reduce driving focus by 37 percent. Anyone can drive too slowly at any given time, but keeping up with the flow of traffic and following the rules of the road will undoubtedly get you to your destination safely.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Slow Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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Emotional Impatient Drivers

Daun Thompson — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 05:26:09 +0000

Drivers are so emotional these days. Every little thing is a trigger for road rage. I remember when, if you wanted to pass another car, you would flash your headlights at them. And it meant “I would like to pass, would you please move over.” Now flashing your headlights means “Get the heck out of my way.” When did we become such impatient drivers? And honking your horn? Forget about it. There’s no friendly honk. Heaven forbid you should lay on the horn. But even if you give someone a little toot to snap them out of their distracted moment to proceed when the light turns green, they lose it. I have heard that there are some intersections in NYC where the traffic light actually honks when the light turns green. What a brilliant idea. This takes the pressure off of drivers and puts it on the traffic device. Although I haven’t been able to find any proof verifying this traffic light with sound effects, I did find that in Japan, some lights make a Cuckoo clock sound, but that is probably not for drivers, but for blind pedestrians. Still, either way, it’s an excellent idea.

I was making a joke in my Comedy Defensive Driving class that, perhaps they should slip a little Prozac in the water system to mellow people out. Little did I know that there may be a bit of Lithium in the groundwater or drinking water in some cities, and this is what I found.

According to the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health,
Using data for 27 Texas counties from 1978-1987, it is shown that the incidence rates of suicide, homicide and rape are significantly higher in counties whose drinking water supplies contain little or no lithium than in counties with water with higher lithium levels. These results suggest that lithium has moderating effects on suicidal and violent criminal behavior at levels that may be encountered in municipal water supplies. Comparisons of drinking water lithium levels, in the respective Texas counties, with the incidences of arrests for possession of opium, cocaine, and their derivatives (morphine, heroin, and codeine) from 1981-1986 also produced statistically significant inverse associations, whereas no significant or consistent associations were observed with the reported arrest rates for possession of marijuana, driving under the influence of alcohol, and drunkenness. These results suggest that lithium at low dosage levels has a generally beneficial effect on human behavior, which may be associated with the functions of lithium as a nutritionally-essential trace element.

It was just a joke, guys. Apparently, as most jokes, not a very original one since someone has already thought about this, studied it and implemented it. I’ll have to read more about this and help spread the word to promote World peace, calmness, less crime and of course those awesome honking traffic lights.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Impatient Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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EMBARRASSING DRIVING MISTAKES

Daun Thompson — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 15:05:38 +0000

I am a true believer that the chicken came before the egg. I also believe that embarrassing driving mistakes, followed by a “honk” from another driver letting you know what a goober you are leads to anger and sometimes full-on road rage. No one wants to be scolded in public, especially by a stranger. While it is currently uncool to scold a child in public, we still find it acceptable to scold an adult. I find that some of these embarrassing driving mistakes we all make (I know that I have done at least a few of these) can often be avoided.

Leaving your signal on for “eternity” is a common driving faux pas. Car manufacturers have remedied this by changing the signal so it blinks anywhere before 3-7 blinks before it automatically shuts off. Since older cars don’t have this feature, nor do “older people” with older cars, there lies your demographic. I am in that demographic. Since this happens so often, signaling to change lanes is a bit like crying wolf. If someone has their signal on in another lane, we don’t know if they really would like to move over or if they just left the darned thing on. So now, since you’ve been fooled before, you just back off for a few seconds and if they don’t get over immediately…oh well! Then you look in your rear view mirror and see them about a mile back in that same lane with that signal just flashing away!

Not going when the light turns green is another common driving mistake but this one fuels an already impatient driver behind you. And they know that the only reason you didn’t peel out like a bull out of the shoot when the light turned green can only be due to your inattention. Let’s face it, if you didn’t go because your car actually stalled out, you’d have turned your hazard lights on.

Driving too slow in the left passing lane makes other drivers completely nuts. If you are passing other cars, fine. But if you are impeding traffic by just cruising in the passing lane where no one can pass, it causes a wave of road rage. Is it possible that some drivers are not aware that the left lane is for passing only? Or perhaps they just don’t really care (which is what the other drivers around them are thinking).

Parallel parking (or parallel chicken) is a skill that is acquired with much practice. You’ll have it mastered if you are taught the proper way to parallel park by pulling next to the car you wish to park behind where your steering wheel is parallel to that car, then cutting your wheels and backing in, and then practicing that for about 20 years. That’s why some newer cars will parallel park for you.

So, stop driving like a knucklehead. Be mindful and considerate of other drivers around you. It will give you confidence and will make your driving experience at least somewhat bearable.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Embarrassing Driving Mistakes – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Rushed Drivers

Daun Thompson — Mon, 22 May 2017 15:45:09 +0000

Why are drivers always in such a big darned hurry? Apparently, impatience leads to rudeness. I remember when attempting to pass someone in the left lane, you would flash your headlights at them. This used to mean “I would like to pass you, please, would you mind moving over to the right lane so that I may do so.” And now when you flash your headlights to pass, it apparently means “Get the heck out of my way.” When did we become such rushed drivers? I’m not saying that I am exempt. I find myself being impatient as well. And I can only speak for myself, but the reason that I am always in such a big darned rush is because I don’t manage my time well. But can that be true for the masses? If I were my adult self, speaking to my inner child, I would say that I should plan to leave earlier so I can relax and not get stressed out while driving to work. There are, of course, other factors that lend to one’s tardiness, such as road construction, traffic, accidents, weather and other unseen events. Listening to the radio for the latest traffic reports sounds ideal but music is much more soothing to the savage beast, eh? And, this is just a passing thought, but I bet there are a lot less impatient speeders and Colorado, Oregon, California and Washington. Police are likely writing zero speeding tickets and responding to less road rage incidents. Now, in those states police are probably writing more tickets for driving too slow or sitting at a stop sign, waiting for it to turn green.
And what are we teaching our kids who are lead by our example? Kids are like little sponges that absorb everything they see and hear. Again, I am not exempt. I will admit, my daughter’s first word was a bad word that she learned while riding in the car with me. I have always prided myself in doing clean comedy. I rarely swear and when I do it’s usually quite mild. So, I was quick to blame my younger sister. I asked her to watch her language around my kid because she’s picking up bad words. It escalated to my tiny toddler swearing in public places. We were in the grocery store, passed a man in an aisle and she called him a bad word. I apologized profusely and he said “That’s okay, lady. I’ve been called worse. But not by a baby.” She eventually stopped saying the word and life was peaceful again. One day, I was driving, she was asleep in her car seat and another car cut us off. Out of my mouth came that exact word. Good thing she was asleep and didn’t hear. But it was then that I realized it was me all along that she was mimicking, not my sister. I never told my sister, though. Although we all like to believe that we are basically good, kind hearted human beings, our alter-ego emerges when driving. This is especially true of rushed drivers.
So take a deep breath, buckle up and be kind out there. You’re not going to arrive any faster by being a jerk. Less stress is good for your heart and soul. And remember, there are little sponges out there learning how to treat others by our examples (good or bad).

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Rushed Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Left Lane Is For Passing Only

Daun Thompson — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:36:57 +0000

I read a post that a friend of mine made on Facebook that she had been pulled over in Illinois for driving in the left lane on the freeway. She was stunned that the officer told her that the left lane is for passing only. First of all, I find it funny that she didn’t already know this since we met in my Comedy Defensive Driving School classroom. She, and her lead foot were in there for speeding. Probably speeding in the left lane, I’m guessing.

Although it’s only posted on signs on Interstates that the left lane is for passing only, this applies to any high speed roadway. For one reason, it’s a giant road rage issue. Even if you’re already speeding in the left lane (that’s why people call it the “fast lane”), traffic in all lanes may be traveling at the same speed and there are cars behind them, trying to pass and it makes them nuts. So the left lane should always be left open for passing. It helps with the flow of traffic.

If the highway, freeway, interstate or rural route is only two lanes, you are still expected to stay in the right lane, unless you are passing. When traffic is merging from an on-ramp, moving over to the passing lane to allow traffic to enter the right lane is acceptable since that is considered a passing situation. But camping out in the right lane is certainly a moving violation. Or, perhaps good, probable cause to pull you over and detain you with a 45 minute lecture.

So, not only Illinois enforces the left passing only law, all states are writing citations for it. And, here in Texas, I know for certain since I hear about it in my classes from students, driving 75mph in a 60mph zone is still too slow for other drivers. They’ll pass you on the right before you can even move over to allow them to pass. They’ll also honk at you and flip you off. That’s what the sunroof is for, btw. It’s for giving people the finger. And if you can drive with your knees, you can flip them off with both hands.

Until next week… (btw, come see me Sunday, 7/26 at the Ft. Worth Hyena’s Comedy Club with the brilliant Barry Sobel)

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Left Lane Is For Passing Only – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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Vacationing Drivers

Daun Thompson — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:54:27 +0000

This week, I am on the beautiful Florida coast. It’s a nice, sunny place with a lot of shady people. I suppose that wouldn’t fit on a license plate, so they just decided to call it the Sunshine State. I refuse to go into the Ocean here because everything in the Ocean has teeth (even the plants). I saw an elderly woman pushing a shopping cart all the way from a parking lot to the store. Awww…isn’t that nice? She’s bringing the cart back into the store, instead of leaving it in the parking lot? My sister said that it’s because it’s actually cheaper than a walker. She’s probably right. Vacationing drivers are beyond scary. Here, everyone passes on the right, because everyone is doing 25mph in the left lane. They call those slow drivers here “Q-Tips.” Since I’ve been here, I’ve asked several people, both native Floridians and transplants, what exactly is the seat belt law in Florida. No one seems to know. Nor, do they seem to care. Perhaps there should be a reality show called “I Survived “Myself.”

They’ve recently put in some traffic circles or roundabouts near where I’m staying. They’re created for traffic “calming”, but they seem to only confuse and annoy people and cause them to get agitated. So, not really what they were going for, but it’s the thought that counts.

There are crosswalks in touristy areas in random places. And, if you don’t stop, it’s a hefty fine. But, time is money. And with people here taking about 20 minutes to cross the street, perhaps they should add a traffic calming circle there and just get it over with. In the center of the roundabout, they could build a PrimaCare and a Walgreens. Maybe even a Chiropractor’s office. Those traffic circles would be a great place to advertise for any of the above.

Tomorrow, I’ll be in Chicago. Let’s just see what taxi driver experiences I can share.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Florida Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Independence Day Holiday

Daun Thompson — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 17:16:35 +0000

Happy Independence Day holiday! I love, love, love being an American. Yes, I like to throw the word LOVE around like they throw diet pills around at a Weight Watchers meeting. One word that I have sworn off is the word HATE. And there…I just used it. So, I am a liar and a hater. And I will be getting professional help for both. I must say, though, I really do hate driving. Especially with the hateful traffic we have here in Texas. It seems like they’re doing construction on all of the freeways at the same time. So now, your alternate route is “damn!” Road rage is on the rise with more people waving the finger at each other on a regular basis. Apparently that’s what the sunroof is for. And, if you can drive with both knees, you can flip someone off with both hands. People are talented, aren’t they? They should just put Prozac into the water system here.

My Aunt Sally is currently on a road trip to Austin from Illinois. She doesn’t know what she’s in for. Just the trip from Dallas to Austin used to take around 3 hours (another half an hour if you stop for kolaches at the Czech Stop in West, Texas). Most of the stretch on I-35 is only two lanes wide now, due to construction. Currently, if you drive to Austin from Dallas, you leave the house clean-shaven. And by the time you get to Austin, you have a full grown beard! And my Aunt Sally is at the age where, even as a female, she could totally grow a full beard. I’ve seen it…and it’s creepy.

With the Independence Day holiday approaching, taking a road trip can be a fun adventure and a costly one. Not only do you have to figure in gasoline expenses and time, but you also need to do a little research before you begin your journey. Knowing the laws in the states you will be passing through may save you from hefty traffic fines. Being from Illinois, she may not know that in Texas you can take a right turn at a red light. But your car has to settle before taking your right turn. You can also take a left turn at a red light from a one-way street, onto a one-way street. Here, you can only occupy the H.O.V. lane in Texas if you have two or more people in the car. There is currently no state law in Texas about cell phone usage or texting while driving. But there are city ordinances that vary from city to city. In the Lone Star State, you can only litter with ice, water and chicken feathers. And the police will certainly be setting up road blocks for drunk drivers throughout the Independence Day holiday weekend. And, I’m certain there are many other laws that differ from Illinois law that are too plentiful to list here. Not to mention the laws in Missouri and Oklahoma which she will be passing through. Something in the law books about cousins and animal husbandry, I’m sure. (You didn’t think for a minute that, as a Texan, I wasn’t going to take a shot at Oklahoma, did you?)

Until next week…be safe this holiday weekend, my friends. And don’t blow a finger off. At least, not the middle finger. You’ll be needing that one.

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Independence Day – Comedy Defensive Driving

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