Pull Over for a Warning Light

If you have any warning lights come on, it could be something serious that needs immediate attention and is definitely one of the signs that you should pull over immediately and address it. Should your oil light come on, don’t continue driving, unless you’re driving to the nearest mechanic. Driving without oil can result in a knocking sound. Engine oil prevents friction. And without it, the friction will eventually cause the rods inside your engine to come loose. These rods hold your pistons in place. Without oil, the rods will wear down and eventually break. This is what you call “throwing a rod” and the next thing you hear will be your engine seizing up. The very last sound you will hear is your bank account emptying out to replace the engine. And, if your temperature light comes on, your car is likely overheating. Steam and/or a salty smell are indicative of an overheating radiator. If this happens, shut off your air conditioner to decrease the load on your engine. Turn off the radio too…for some reason that seems to help. Roll down your windows and turn on the heater and blower to transfer some of the heat off the engine. Don’t open your distributor cap until the engine has completely cooled. You may need to add water and coolant, or your thermostat may be malfunctioning. If you smell smoke or see fire coming from your engine, or hear a “ticking” sound, check your life insurance policy to make sure that your significant other hasn’t increased the pay-out.

Pull Over for Bad Weather

Good visibility is imperative for both your safety and the safety of those driving around you. If there is heavy fog or it is raining buckets, there’s another sign you should pull over immediately. Wait for the rain to die down. For fog, pull off at the next exit and get as far away from traffic as you can. Sit tight until the fog clears.

Pull Over for Distractions

If you drop something important that you just can’t wait to pick up or you have other distractions that need to be addressed such as texting or fiddling with your GPS, pull over immediately and take care of business. A friend of mine was trying to quit smoking. He tried everything, cigars, a pipe, nothing seemed to work. Then, one day he was driving home and dropped his cigarette on the floorboard of his car. He leaned down to pick it up and when he sat back up, he hit a telephone pole. The accident resulted in two missing teeth and 3 broken ribs. He said it hurt so much to smoke that he was able to quit. I would recommend the nicotine patch…it’s a lot less painful. He should have pulled over immediately and none of this would have happened. And, if you’ve ever been on a road trip with a crying baby, you have to make a lot of pit stops. I’ve driven 16 hours to Chicago with a crying baby in the car. It was like being on an airplane for 16 hours, but with no in-flight bar service (which helps). That’s a trip where you have to make many stops to hold the baby, feed and diaper the baby. That was 17 years ago and my baby is still colicky…I swear!

Until next week…

Daun T
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Signs You Should Pull Over Immediately – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Signs You Should Pull Over Immediately appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Below is a list of things that are said to put an officer “at ease.”

• Pull over to the right side of the road and find a safe place to stop. Do this immediately. Police get a little suspicious if you don’t pull over right away. You don’t want them to assume that you are attempting to conceal something and perhaps are just needing more time to stash it (like that inflatible H.O.V. doll you got on ebay).
• Don’t get out of the car. Yes, maybe in that small town where you went to High School with the officer who is pulling you over, you may have gotten out and met him half-way, hoping that was a friendly gesture. Not anymore. Stay in the car.
• Put your car in park. Leaving your car in gear gives them the impression that you might try to flee the scene. Tips for fleeing the scene will be in next week’s comedy blog (just kidding).
• Roll down the windows so that the officer can see inside the vehicle. If they can see within your car, they may assume that you have nothing to hide. Just roll ’em down…especially if they’re tinted windows…windows tinted so dark that you don’t want him to see how dark they are…they’ll give you a ticket for that as well. Cha-ching!
• Shut off your car. Again, not to give them the impression that you may try to flee by leaving your car running.
• Put your keys on the dashboard. Or, if you are a Felon, just throw the keys out the window. Where you’re going, you’re not going to need them anyway.
• Sit Still. Keep your hands high on the wheel within plain sight. Hands open.
• Do not reach for anything. (Especially a weapon). And, by all means, don’t ask the officer to hold your beer while you get your information out of the glove box.
• Move like a sloth (…it’ll freak ’em out).
• Let the officer speak first. Whatever you do, don’t address the officer as “sir” until you get a really good look at him/her (Aha! Now you see why?). That’s the quickest way to get on a female police officer’s bad side.
• And if they ask you “Do you know why I pulled you over?” (a classic question). Just say no. Don’t say “To remind me that I forgot to turn my radar detector on?”
• If they ask you if you know how fast you’re going (another classic question) just say no. Don’t say “Not fast enough, apparently.” And, when they disclose what your actual speed is, for the love of God, don’t say “You should have seen how fast I was going about 10 miles back, ossifer.“
•  If they ask you is there a good reason why you are speeding? Just say no. Don’t say you’re trying to get to the liquor store before they close. Because that first case of beer didn’t really do the trick.”

Until next week…stay out of trouble.

Daun Thompson

The post Tips For Criminals appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.