What’s up with those Hide-Lock-Take signs? In this day and age, are people really that daft, that they would leave anything of value “visible” in their car in a parking lot? I suppose the answer is “yes.” Unfortunately, sometimes it’s the entire car that is snatched (one of my favorite films, by the way). I remember when I moved to Texas, nearly every truck had a gun rack visible for all to see, mounted in the back window. And when I lived in northern California, everyone had a wine rack mounted in the back window of their hybrid. Honestly, I don’t even leave a gum wrapper visible in my car because I’m totally into vehicle theft protection. But I highly doubt that any self-respecting thief would even want to break into my late model car. It’d be like the time I had my house broken into. They actually left a lot of really choice stuff…like my VCR and my two ton television that takes 3 people to lift. I was totally insulted.

But we should not only be concerned about having personal items taken from our vehicles. The more prevalent concern is having the entire vehicle stolen and vehicle theft protection. According to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles, thousands of cars are stolen in Texas alone, each year. And the number one stolen vehicle is the Ford F150. Go figure, in Texas, a pickup truck. And, almost half of those vehicles that are stolen is because someone left the keys in the ignition or even left it running. Both are a pricey fine due to vehicle theft.

Never leave your car running, unattended. Cars are often stolen at convenience stores, gas stations or when an owner leaves the vehicle running to warm it up. I used to take my dog with me wherever I would go. After all, he’s my best friend and doesn’t judge my driving skills. Sometimes I even let him sit on my lap and drive. And, he’s a much better driver, unless he’s been drinking. He gets drunk real easy too, because one beer is like seven to him. I would take him with me on quick errands, say to pick up milk at the mini-mart. I’d leave my car running with the air conditioning on. But I would lock the car. Thinking I would just be in there for a minute or two. And then, there’s always that person who writes a check and I’m in there forever because no one knows how to take a check anymore. Who the heck writes checks anyway? I didn’t realize that you could get a hefty fine for leaving your car running, unattended. Even if it’s locked. So my dog is spending more time at home these days. Ordering pay-per-view and getting pudgy.

So, don’t be an easy target. Don’t leave anything visible in the car when it’s parked. And don’t leave your keys in your car. Or you may be writing a check to your local municipality.

Until next week….

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist / Benevolent Thesbo

Vehicle Theft Protection – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Vehicle Theft Protection appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

It is a sad world we live in when people act like “stupid idiots” (is that over-kill?) by getting out of their cars and getting into fights because someone cut them off, or someone is driving too slow, I sometimes wonder if we really have evolved.  Even on Dr. Phil today, there was a doctor who was taped “shoving” a lady to the ground, a bit out of control for any of us but an educated man, kinda hard to believe.  Of course this happened in New York City or somewhere up north.  My boyfriend said that a southern boy would never put his hands on a woman, unless you’re married to her.

Have we really lost our humanity when we get behind the wheel of our vehicles?  It seems like people have a “me first” attitude on our roads especially in the cities.  Out in the rural areas of the country people seem to be a lot more laid back, not as selfish as the city folk.  I guess no one wants to get into a collision when you have a rolling meth lab in your car.

Avoid road rage by using your signal before you turn or change lanes, use the left lane for passing only and don’t tailgate anyone (that means driving too close to the car in front of you, not hanging out in a stadium parking lot, with your face painted, drinking a keg.)  If someone is honking at you, just avoid eye contact, act like you don’t even see them…in other words, act like you live in New York City.  If all else fails, pull out your cell phone and your gun and ask them “which one do you want me to use?!”  By the way, just kidding about the gun!  And the cell phone,  I threw mine at a pedestrian last week and it broke.

Until next week…be nice.  And don’t call anyone a stupid idiot.  It’s so immature!

Daun Thompson

(Daun Thompson is a comedienne, writer and artist living in Dallas, Texas)

The post Rage in the City appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Forty three states have passed “Move Over” laws, which require motorists to “Move Over” and change lanes to give safe clearance to law enforcement officers on roadsides.  One would think that it would be just plain common sense to move over a lane or at least slow down when approaching a scene. But more than 150 U.S. law enforcement officers have been killed since 1997 after being struck by vehicles along America’s highways, according to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund. I have met a few ambulance drivers who have recounted stories of co-workers they have lost to a rubber-necker who not only did not move over a lane or slow down, but drove right into the scene of the accident. Killing the E.M.T.’s trying to save someone and the person they were trying to save. It’s likely the rubber-necker was drunk (a drunker-necker). Apparently drunk drivers are attracted to flashing lights. Like blondes are attracted to shiny objects. Diamonds, should anyone ask.

“Move Over America” is the national effort to make drivers aware of the “Move Over” laws, which require motorists to “Move Over” and changes lanes to give safe clearance to law enforcement officers on roadsides.  Equally important is the action of creating attention in those states where there is no such law at present.  Their website has a U.S. map of move over laws by state.  While California and Iowa hit you with a $50 fine, other states dish up more meaty fines.  South Dakota serves up a class 2 misdemeanor, Virginia is a class 1 misdemeanor and Arkansas awards you with a $500 fine plus 90 days in jail, 7 days of community service, 90 day license suspension. Michigan, Tennessee and West Virginia are runners-up in their penalties. Generally in most states, the fine is a hefty one because you just put a law enforcement officer, emergency medical tech, fireman, courtesy patrol or tow truck drivers life in danger. Fair enough!

I notice when out there in the road rage mobile (that what I call her…every girl has a pet name for their car…that’s mine), some police officers still write tickets on the drivers side of the car, rather than going around to the passenger side where it would seem much safer.  And the shoulder is just wide enough for a car.  Not a car and a cop. You ever pull over on the highway to change drivers, get something out of the trunk, or to dump a body?? It feels like those semi trucks are going to suck you right under them. I’ve watched those t.v. shows where they show cops being hit by cars on the freeway or the car hitting the squad car, causing it to careen into the car being pulled over. Yikes! You ever watch that show COPS?  I watch it just to see if I have any family members on there. And I usually do.  So this is how the Move Over Law works. If you see an emergency vehicle on the side of the road with its lights flashing, you need to move over and put an empty lane between you and them for their safety.  Or, if you can’t move over because you’re on a two lane road, or maybe there’s traffic in the next lane and you can’t move over, then you must slow down 20 miles under the posted speed limit. This does not only apply to the highway. If the speed limit is below 25mph, the driver must slow down to 5mph…i.e. school zone)

And if you don’t??  Maybe you think you got away with it because that officer’s standing outside that car writing someone else a ticket. And you think “He’s not going to drop what he’s doing and jump in his car and come after me.”  But cops use a buddy system.  One officer would make an initial stop — for traffic violations — and then another officer would be close by to nab those who didn’t follow the move-over law.  HUGE FINE!

Until next week…look out for others…they may not have 5,141 friends on Facebook, but somebody loves them.

Daun Thompson

(Daun Thompson is a comedienne, writer and artist residing in Dallas, Texas)

The post MOVE IT OR LOSE IT appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.