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As I recall, the worse case of the overheated car of any vehicle I’ve owned was my 1980 Triumph Spitfire. The only saving grace was that it was small enough and light enough that I could push it to a safe place when it would overheat and stall out. In hindsight, I should have pushed it all the way back to the dealership and left it there. That car was just predisposed to overheating.

Here’s how the cooling system works. The cooling system sends the liquid engine coolant through the engine block and heads which can reach up to 250 degrees without boiling with the correct ratio of coolant to water (50/50). It will also keep your engine block and heads from freezing at temperatures below zero. The engine coolant picks up the heat from the engine as it flows through to the radiator. The hot liquid is then cooled through an air stream as it exits through the grill of the car. Then it re-circulates back through the engine again and again. The job of the water pump is to keep the fluid moving through the system. And the thermostat keeps it all flowing like clockwork. If there is too much pressure, the radiator cap will release pressure if it reaches its limit. Yay for engine coolant! It’s a beautiful thing.

A beautiful thing unless your pets happen to be attracted to the smell and taste of the antifreeze. Of course, dogs won’t be attracted to the translucent greenish-yellow color of the antifreeze if they are truly color blind. Antifreeze is poisonous to people and animals. Ethylene Glycol (also known as the devil’s margarita), if ingested, will form calcium oxalate crystals in the kidneys which cause renal failure and death. Unfortunately, my dog Pedi suffered and eventually succumbed to this horrible tragedy. I wish I would have known the signs. Always keep your pets on a leash and give them plenty of water before leaving the house so they are not thirsty. And keep all antifreeze contained and clean up any spillage. As of December, 2012, it is illegal to sell non-bittered antifreeze in the USA. But this only makes the product taste bad. So please still be cautious when your pets or children are in possible contact with antifreeze.

Keep your engine cooled in the next few summer months. And make sure it’s ready for those cold months that are not too far away. It’s working hard for you.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist

The Overheated Car – Engine Coolant – Comedy Defensive Driving

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I am told that women don’t take driving as seriously as men. So here’s a good argument to chew on, what about the female racing drivers of NASCAR? There are entirely too many of them to mention here, but how about Danica Patrick, Susie Stoddart and Deborah Parker. Oh, and let’s not forget about the Force sisters, Ashley and Courtney. Ashley Force is the first woman to ever win an NHRA event title in the funny car listing. A Force to be reckoned with (pun intended)…heck, she even beat her own father, John, in that very race. And he’s a 14-time Powerade Champion. I don’t even know what that means. I’m just an ordinary girl and an ordinary driver. And I don’t even like to drive. Some people love road trips, while I love planes and taxis. My parents will get in the car and drive from Chicago to Florida in one day. And they enjoy the trip every time. Not me. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

What I have read about male v.s. women drivers is basically that, while women drivers do get their fair share of speeding tickets, the male drivers usually get ticketed at a higher speed. Men are considered more attentive and focused while driving than women drivers. Unless, of course, there is a girl within viewing range, then that theory goes right out the window.

I know a few women who are the drivers in their relationships. Like my parents’ neighbors. The husband lost his license when he got a DWI, so his wife has to drive him everywhere. She said he always complained that she drives him to drink…and now she has to. So, maybe she’s not only the driver in their relationship, but the designated driver as well.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist

Women Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Daun Thompson

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My parents are now about a decade past their prime retirement age. I was telling my sister how I had noticed that our parents, who have been married for over 50 years, are so terribly co-dependent that they even share reading glasses. Mom’s reading the paper in Dad’s big black framed Mister Magoo-looking glasses.She looks like a shop teacher in drag. My Dad’s reading a manual on spousal abuse.  He’s wearing my Mom’s pink cat-eye glasses. Yes, the ones with the rhinestones.And now, the two of them have become so out-of-control co-dependent that they’re also on the same medications to control their diabetes, blood pressure and cholesterol.And not just the same meds.The exact same dosage, too.My sister was like “Duh, Mom has cooked for both of them for 50 years…canned this and fried that…it’s not that surprising.”

So, with health issues looming, when is it time to persuade someone to turn in their keys?Since I am the adult child of an elderly driver, I realize that having a drivers license and being independent is a vital part of an elderly person’s life.Once that independence is taken away, it’s a sad existence for most elderly folks.To most, it’s a sensitive subject.But one’s major concern should be the safety of their elderly parent as well as the safety of others driving around them.My Mother confided in me that lately, my Father’s driving scares the crap out of her. That’s where the incontinent diapers comes in handy (too mean?).The latest incident, they were in a rental mini van in Florida, coming back from the dog track with two other couples from their retirement community.My Dad was following someone too close (that was her main gripe) and they hit a black bear. He didn’t see it and it totally messed up that mini van. But as he said “It’s a rental…who cares.” I’m sure all three couples had to go to Walgreens to get their blood pressure checked (too mean again??).

To help with the decision making, most states have added restrictions on elderly license renewals.And, while some seniors cause more accidents than others due to deteriorating physical and mental abilities, teenage drivers, who are less experienced cause just as many, if not more accidents. Inexperienced drivers have restrictions on them when they first start driving. In Texas, the restrictions lift after 6 months.So, some argue that restrictions based solely on age are discriminatory.

Some states require that a senior cannot renew their license by mail or internet.And most states require a more frequent renewal period for seniors. Texas requires renewal every two years for drivers age 85 or older, where regular renewal for all other drivers is six years.Some states are every 3 years for seniors.Generally, the renewal process requires a written test, road test, eye test, etc.Noting how many moving violations and/or crashes in a certain period of time would also come into play. AARP and other organizations offer driver safety programs for mature drivers, so there are programs out there.  Good to know. And some insurance companies allow discounts after defensive driving courses, so it’s a good idea to take one even if you don’t have a ticket…

Too bad you can’t use that senior citizen discount for a moving violation…that’d really come in handy.

Until next week…be sweet to old people…they’ve been driving longer than you have.

Daun Thompson

( Daun Thompson is a comedienne, writer and artist residing in Dallas )

The post RESPECT YOUR ELDERS…THEN PASS THEM appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

How each website compiles their information varies. There are websites where they list the top ten worst states for speeding tickets, or for traffic tickets which are actually compiled by number of violations issued in a given period. Another lists ten states to watch your wallet in. And these states appear to have similar characteristics. Toll roads, road blocks, freeway construction and red light cameras, to name a few. Compiled data from the Google search engine has created a list of the top cities that generated the highest number of searches for “speeding tickets” and “traffic tickets”.Wondering where your city is on the list?Me too.

It appears that, although California, Texas and Florida are hot beds for losing your wallet to the law (most speeding tickets and traffic tickets written),none of these three states are at the top ten list for speed traps.In fact, California ranks 14, with Fresno being their top ticket city.Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Irvine and Pleasanton are the contending cities.Pleasanton has an awesome mall. I believe I’ve even gotten a ticket there once. Texas ranks 28, with Houston being their top ticket city. Although Richardson, Dallas, Austin and Arlington are nearly as bad.Florida finds itself on the list at number 18. Waldo being its bad boy city for tickets. Where the hell is Waldo, anyway?? No, I really mean it…And Miami, Orlando and Tampa appear to be up and coming ticket cities in that state.

The top states, along with their top cities for speed traps are as follows.And most of them are not large cities.

1) New Jersey (Paramus)
2) Ohio (Columbus)
3) Maryland (Frederick)
4) Louisiana (Woodworth)
5) New York (Brooklyn)
6) Illinois (Naperville…You know, where they film the show “Female Forces”…like girls gone wild…only with cops)
7) Delaware (Newark)
8) Virginia (Virginia Beach)
9) Washington (Bellingham)
10) Massachusetts (Worcester)

In addition to knowing which states and their cities are worst for traps, there are also other key items to keep in mind when traveling out of state.In some states, you cannot take a right on red. Nor a left on a one way to a one way on red. Some highway traffic has the right of way to oncoming traffic and some yields to. Some states have hands free laws, where some only have city ordinances (i.e. Austin, Texas has a no texting city ordinance).

Do a little research before heading out on a road trip. And keep your wallet where it belongs…in your wife’s purse.

Daun Thompson

( Daun Thompson is a comedienne, artist and writer … who is currently feeling blessed that she is not a hot tar roofer… residing in the triple digits, hotter than hell, state of Texas )

The post I’M CAUGHT IN A TRAP…I CAN’T GET OUT… appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

The evil is my “addictions” and I’m not talking about drugs, (I’ve been clean since Oct 8, 2002)  I am talking about my other addictions that plague me like a succubus who hate f*(%’s me even during the day that turns my daydreams into nightmares.This is the road rage “evil” Danny, who will always mess things up in his life and then… there is the spiritual “good” Danny who loves everyone and everything.The good guy who is closer to God when he is out on the road doing stand-up comedy, the Earth, Wind and Fire God who is the creator of everything.This is the Danny I want to prevail.The Danny who sees the humanity in every driver, who has compassion for every living thing, even tailgaters.

The key is to raise the good side and eliminate the evil side just sort of a “road rage driver” exorcism.Even by just reducing the evil side, you can have a safer driving experience to your therapist or your 12 step meetings.Defensive driving and driver safety skills will help you obtain this goal.

These defensive driving skills should consist of:

1. Using your blinker when turning or changing lanes.

2. Always have an “out” when driving by checking your mirrors and keeping a safe distance from the cars around you.

3. Stay out of the left lane, except when passing and never tailgate another driver.

The other solution, change your life if you have chronic road rage.Relax, get plenty of rest, get up and do something that intrigues you and that you have a passion for.Manage your time better and meditate, find some alone time for yourself every day.Remember, Gandhi never got road rage, come to think of it, I don’t think he had a car either.

If you keep doing the same thing, expect to get the same results. Changing your life will help in you achieving the characteristics of a good defensive driver at the very least.In Narcotics Anonymous, I learned that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”And in the Tarrant County Jail, I learned patience but that’s another story.

And changing your life is easy, the hard part is getting past the evil side manifesting fear inside of you that keeps you from being free.One of my favorite movie quotes is from Vanilla Sky, when Penelope Cruz’s character says to Tom Cruise; “… Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”

Join me again next week and until then….

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Get the evil out of you! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

So I had no choice but to do what I did; I squeezed my way to his left, jerked the wheel to the right and ran his silly butt off the road!  No, just kidding but that is what I imagined in my head.

When entering the freeway, merge with the flow of traffic.  This means you speed up (I know a lot of you don’t have a problem with that 😉 and adjust your speed accordingly.  Together we can make the freeway a better place for everyone.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions.  I would love to hear from you!  Join us next week when we talk about…..I can’t say, it’s a surprise!

Take care-

Danny Keaton

The post Getting on the freeway appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Times are changing; many states are now prosecuting drivers who cause fatigue related collisions.
New Jersey passed ‘Maggie’s Law’ in 2003. Sleep deprived drivers who cause a fatal accident and were awake for more than 24 hours will be charged with vehicular homicide.

If you are tired, pull over, take a nap. I know that seems unrealistic at times but it sure beats the consequences! If you get into an accident, you’ll wish you had. Don’t use stimulants to help stay awake, remember, what goes up must come down! Do your part to help keep our roads safe.
Fatigue related car crashes do not have to happen and it all starts with you.

Keep in touch and I’ll talk to you next week!

Take Care-
Danny Keaton

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