Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Arrive Alive – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Arrive Alive appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

I know that some of us don’t use our turn signals all of the time. For some, perhaps it is only when we feel a real urgency to use them. I must admit, I am a reformed non-signaler. In Texas, the fine is around $191.00…and that’s a lot of Jack Daniels. And it’s usually added to another ticket, such as speeding or illegal lane change within an intersection. It’s like an “add-on,” like a pack of gum at the grocery store check out counter. I didn’t even realize I wasn’t signaling until I had a friend in the car point it out. He said “I thought you teach those classes…you haven’t signaled the entire time I’ve been in the car.” So I had to use those turn signals. And I really can’t say why I wasn’t signaling. Maybe I was trying to conserve the life of the bulb, so it lasts the life of the car.

Of course, some say they don’t signal when no one else is around. Or they don’t signal in rush hour traffic because then, it’s a guarantee that no one will let you over. And, of course, we all signal when we’re being pulled over by the cops…for sure. Maybe it would be a good idea to just get into the habit of signaling all of the time…audience or not, just so it’s second nature, like wearing a seat belt. It seems to be a road rage contributor as well. People don’t like to guess where you’re going. They don’t like rear-ending you (well, some actually do) and they don’t like waiting at an intersection for you to spin the wheel.

Then, of course, we have the eternal signaler. You know, that guy that turns on his blinker and never EVER shuts it off.

Until next week…don’t be a schlep…use those turn signals.

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist / Idea Mogul

Use Those Turn Signals – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Don’t Make Me Guess – Use Those Turn Signals appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

“We are only human and we are not perfect and you’re going to burn in a lake of fire!!!”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing religion, either. All I’m suggesting is that we need that little light that shines to carry it with us in our cars. That way the next time some asshole cuts us off, we won’t shoot him the finger or just plain shoot him!

And with the holiday season upon us and everyone trying to get here and there, be a little friendlier out on the roads. It takes an extra second to let someone in. Turn on your signal before you turn or change lanes. Give a friendly wave when someone lets you into traffic. Don’t cut off an 18-wheeler, it takes truckers over four times the distance to stop than a regular vehicle. And no sex while driving!

Remember, a world without road rage starts with you, if someone is tailgating you, ask yourself, “what would Jesus do?” He would probably get pissed off too and send them to hell!

I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season. Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Driving in the Bible belt or another reason for traffic school appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

When a teenager is added to the parent’s policy, according to the study, the annual insurance premium for a one-car family while for a two-car family it generally jumps about 58 percent and for a three-car family, about 62 percent!!!

This is because drivers ages 15 to 19 tend to get into MORE accidents than older drivers and have little driving experience.

So how can parents of teenage drivers reduce the insurance costs? comparing rates from different companies; making sure your teenager is driving a safe car that is inexpensive to insure; and asking for DISCOUNTS if your child gets good grades in school, takes certain DRIVING CLASSES or drives a vehicle with a monitoring device installed. A lot of courses out there will help reduce your car insurance, make sure to ask your car insurance provider first.

The data is based on an analysis of car insurance quotes provided by Insurance.com were users for all levels of liability coverage from October 2009 through September 2010 provided their information. Collision and comprehensive coverage was not included in the analysis.

How much did your insurance jump when your child started driving? How have you lowered the cost, if at all?
If your insurance provider agrees in your policy for insurance reduction by taking defensive driving classes, well… Look no further, at
https://comedydefensivedriving.com
We can help! Just give us a call or register for the online course! A tip for our readers is to use the PROMO CODE: SPEED at checkout for an extra discount!

The post Teenage Driver Education and Car Insurance Discounts appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

 The family mini-van has the stick figures of the whole family and if there is a guy driving that mini-van his balls are probably in a holder around the rearview mirror. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the family.

The single guy has a diver flag sticker on his Jeep to impress the chicks, even though he might not know how to swim.

One time I saw a sticker that said “Honk if you love Jesus” so I honked and the lady in the other car shot me the finger! That wasn’t supposed to happen!

And check this out, they also have “WI-FI detection” bumper stickers! You put it on your window and it lets you know when you have a Wi-Fi signal. I would think it would work better on your dash but hey, you’re trying to look cool so put it on your back window so everyone can see it.

But one thing I also noticed when noticing all these bumper stickers is that I wasn’t paying attention to the road! Bumper stickers are major distractions for drivers across the country. According to the California Department of Motor Vehicles, 80 % of crashes and 65% of near-crashes are caused by some form of driver distractions and yes that includes drivers trying to read bumper stickers! One of my favorites is, “If you can read this, you are too close” and next thing you know, BAM, you hit the person in front of you! If you must share a clever extract make sure it only contains a short sentence like “Obey Gravity, It’s the Law.” Anything more than one sentence can be a distraction, besides who would remember all that anyway?

If you have any comments or suggestions, please send them in. Join me again next week and until then…

Take Care and Be Safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Bumper stickers, they are everywhere! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

But if you re-trace your steps, there is probably something you could have done to lessen the chances of your car being “jacked.” First, never leave your car running unattended, that’s just asking for it! You think you’re just going to run in and buy a pack of smokes and you come back out and your car is already have way to the chop shop! Keep all your valuables out of plain sight. If you leave your computer, CDs, jewelry or porn lying around, you might as well just post a sign on your windshield that says, “I’m a dumbass, please help yourself to what is mine!” Always roll up your windows even if you are parked outside of your house, unless you have farted and you need to air it out. Never, ever, leave your keys in the car! You would think that would go without saying, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to steal your ride if your keys are on the front seat. Here is a list of states and cities with the highest vehicle theft but keep in mind, you don’t have to live in these places to be a victim.

#1 California
Approx. 242,693 auto thefts per year

#2 Texas
Approx. 95,429 auto thefts per year

#3 Florida
Approx. 76,437 auto thefts per year

#4 Arizona
Approx. 54,849 auto thefts per year

#5 Michigan
Approx. 50,017 auto thefts per year

#6 Washington
Approx. 45,899 auto thefts per year

#7 Georgia
Approx. 43,163 auto thefts per year

#8 Illinois
Approx. 37,641 auto thefts per year

#9 Ohio
Approx. 37,425 auto thefts per year

#10 New York
Approx. 32,134 auto thefts per year

U.S. Cities with the Highest Auto Theft Rates
**Results are calculated on a scale of thefts per 100,000 people

1. Modesto, California
2. Laredo, Texas
3. Yakima, Washington
4. San Diego/Carlsbad/San Marcos, California
5. Bakersfield, California
6. Stockton, California
7. Las Vegas/Paradise, Nevada
8. Albuquerque, New Mexico
9. San Francisco/Oakland/Freemont, California
10. Fresno, California
11. Visalia-Porterville, California
12. Detroit, Michigan
13. Tucson, Arizona
14. Sacramento, California
15. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
16. El Centro, California
17. El Paso, Texas
18. Vallejo, California
19. Phoenix, Arizona
20. Eugene, Oregon
21. San Bernardino, California
22. Columbus, Ohio
23. Miami, Florida
24. Los Angeles, California
25. New Orleans, Louisiana

U.S. Cities with the Lowest Auto Theft Rates
**Results are calculated on a scale of thefts per 100,000 people

1. Virginia Beach, Virginia
2. New York, New York
3. Austin, Texas
4. Arlington, Texas
5. San Antonio, Texas
6. Louisville, Kentucky
7. San Jose, California
8. Wichita, Kansas
9. Colorado Springs, Colorado
10. Jacksonville, Florida

Just a few simple methods that were mentioned can save you from being a statistic. Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Dude, where’s my car!!?? appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

“Obey the law” he says. “Stop immediately” and “stay in your car with your hands on the wheel.” Finally, “if your woman is mad at you, leave her at home. There’s nothing she’d like to see more than you getting your [you-know-what] kicked.”

It’s a dead-on spoof of a hard truth: Respect authority. If you don’t, you increase the odds of a pricey ticket.

“Everything in that video is absolutely true,” said Sgt. Matthew Koep of the South Plainfield, N.J., Police Department. “It’s funny, but it’s accurate.”

Citizens who are generally law-abiding are likely to come into contact with the police only under two circumstances: If you’re a crime victim or you get pulled over for a traffic violation.

Police officers are not out to make your life miserable, but to make sure you’re following the rules of the road and not endangering yourself or those around you.

With a few exceptions, and an egregious traffic violation is top among them, cops aren’t mandated to write tickets. Most would rather send you on your way with a friendly warning — that can save you time and money.

But handle the situation with an aggressive or arrogant attitude and you can expect to squeeze an expensive court date into your busy schedule.

Play Nice

First rule: don’t argue.

“I get this all the time,” said Karen Rittorno, a nine-year veteran with the Chicago Police Department. “‘What are you stopping me for? I didn’t do nothing.’ If they try to take charge of the traffic stop, they’re not going to get out of it without a ticket,” she said. “We ask the questions, not them.”

Accept that the police have caught you doing something that’s against the law, such as speeding or gliding through a stop sign.

“All we do is react to what people do when you pull them over,” said Dennis Fanning, a homicide detective and veteran officer with the Los Angeles Police Department. “We don’t instigate the stuff, but we will react to you. The situation will escalate or de-escalate depending on how that person reacts.”

To argue with cops is akin to calling them idiots. Don’t do that. “That’s implying that I pulled you over for no reason and that bothers me,” Koep said.

Keep It Honest

Don’t lie, either. Cops are trained to note the human characteristics of lying, including twitching and looking to the left, and they know the right questions to ask to suss out the truth.

Fanning estimates that nine out of 10 people lie to him. “It’s an attack on our intelligence,” he said.

Moreover, the truth can set you free. Koep recalled an incident when he pulled a young guy over for speeding.

“He looks straight at me and says, ‘You know, officer, I wasn’t even paying attention. I just had the best date of my life. I just met my future bride. I’m just on cloud nine right now.’

“The guy was completely serious,” Koep said. “How are you going to write that guy up after that? Who makes that kind of stuff up?”

Of course, don’t use pejoratives when addressing the police, unless you’re eager for a ticket. But other words may backfire, too. Rittorno works in a crime-ridden section of Chicago where the majority of people she pulls over for traffic violations don’t have licenses or insurance, she said.

“So I get a lot of, ‘I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it, sweetheart,'” she said. “I hate being called ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart.’ I’m ‘officer’ to you.”

The police don’t like being talked over, either. “Be polite,” said Chicago Officer Mike Thomas. “You have your rights as a citizen, too, but it doesn’t do you any good to talk while he’s talking.”

Cops know that people are nervous when they get pulled over, and they expect a certain amount of jumpiness when they approach a car. Rittorno even admitted she’s intimidated in the same situation. “I’m the police and I get scared if I get pulled over,” she said.

But did you know they’re on edge, too? You know who they are, but they don’t know whether you’re a good guy or a bad guy. “The only thing on his mind when he approaches you is safety,” Thomas said. “You know you don’t have a gun in your lap, but the officer doesn’t know it.”

Rittorno, for one, said she assumes everyone has a gun. “I’m always on 10,” she said, referring to her high level of vigilance. “I take it down depending on their demeanor or what I see.”

Stay Calm

When those headlights go on, it’s best to pull the car to the right, stay in the car, turn the interior lights on if it’s dark and put your hands on the steering wheel.

Don’t make any quick movements, and don’t turn to grab your purse or put your hands in your pocket or under your seat to retrieve your license — until the officer instructs you to. Then, do it slowly.

Don’t move to open the glove box either, until directed. And do that slowly, too. Let the police shine a light inside the box before you reach in. Many criminals hide guns in glove boxes.

“What’s going to cause the situation to get worse is for the fear factor to rise in that officer,” Koep said. “The officer is more likely to cut you a break as long as you can reduce that fear. …If you’re friendly with me, not arguing or denying what happened, that lowers the fear factor and will make me a lot more cooperative with you.”

Don’t boast about who you know, either. That can infuriate cops. They consider it a veiled threat to their livelihoods. Fortunately, most municipalities have laws in place to insure that an officer is not fired or reprimanded for ticketing, say, the mayor’s daughter.

Finally, never try to buy off a cop. “In those instances where they’ve offered me a bribe,” Fanning said. “I loved making those arrests.”

________

Thanks to Jennifer Waters and Yahoo for this great article!

Jennifer Waters is a MarketWatch reporter, based in Chicago.

The post Driver safety course when pulled over appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Why does a driver’s insurance rate drop at the age of twenty-five?

Recently, I was driving around in Irving, Texas listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ CD called Blood Sugar Sex Magik. When that album was released, I was 22 years old. Back then my driving sucked!! My insurance rates were high because of my gender and particularly because of my age. I drove my car like I drove through life, reckless. I would rush into a bad relationship like I was going through an intersection with a red light! Back then I hung out with a group of friends, like my age, that were into Native American Spirituality and we hung around the Dallas-Irving area and no, we didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons. We lived for the moment in our self deceived eternal youth. Like bohemians on the Ship of Fools we floated down the river of Nirvana. According to the insurance companies, we were in a high-risk age category for drivers more likely to cause an accident. Young drivers are inexperienced and they take more chances behind the wheel.

Yes, the good ‘ol days of grunge rock, the internet was new, we still had cassette players in our cars and I drove like a driver’s ed. school flunky. Now I believe or at least I hope my driving is much better, just don’t ask my girlfriend. I always use my turn signals even when I cut someone off. I make an effort to tell myself not to have road rage before I start my car. I don’t speed up to keep someone from moving over, most of the time. Even when there’s a homeless person standing on the side of a freeway off-ramp, I always make eye contact to tell them “no”, instead of acting like I have to concentrate to change the radio station.

Now to answer the question, “why does a driver’s insurance rate drop at the age of 25? In your brain, the cerebral cortex (frontal lobe) located behind the forehead, deals with complex decision making. This part of your brain does not fully develop until the age of twenty-five. For most men, it does NOT develop until 50, am I right, ladies?? That’s why your 30 year old husband acts like he’s still in the 7^th grade!

OK, back to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and driving in Irving, I had a spiritual awaking without the use of some organic substance. Unlike my Mantra of the past, “Live for today, F@%K tomorrow” my old school of philosophy has changed to “Slow down, you’re driving too fast!”, “Take it easy” and “Turn down that music, it’s too loud!” As I’m getting older, I’m gaining more experience and with that, come the wisdom. Just like a classic or antique automobile, you increase in value and prestige and along the way you pick up little pieces of dignity and unbridled pride.

Keep sending in your comments and e-mails. Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-
Danny Keaton

The post Driving Under The Bridge appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Back in 2007, Richland Hills, Texas shorten the yellow light time from 3.5 seconds to 3 seconds at one of their intersections that has a red light camera.  In June of 2007 the intersection at Booth Calloway Road and Glennview Drive had 1,440 citations for running the red light.  In July, they had 1,911 and in the month of August – 1,387.  After the local Fox 4 news ran the story, the city changed it to 3.6 seconds, guess how many citations they had in September…….321.  Redflex, the company who makes these cameras and the 35 cities in Texas who use them are making a killing!  Who scratches who’s back??

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for what ever makes the roads safer.  Maybe it’s supply and demand, if we weren’t running the red lights, there wouldn’t be a need for the cameras. Do your part, no more running red lights! Next time you go through an intersection or the light turns green, look both ways….it just might save your life!  Let me know what you think.

Until next week, be safe and take care.

Danny Keaton

The post Camera tickets – Big Brother is always watching! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.