Don’t have your own car visible in your side mirrors. This is a common mistake that drivers make. You should always angle them away from you until the point where your car is no longer visible in either side mirror. This way there is no overlap between your side mirrors and the rear view mirror, and any car that is passing you on either side will remain in at least one of your side mirrors until it enters your field of vision. Professional drivers lean into their console and adjust their rear view and side mirrors at one time to cover any blind spots. If you don’t have a rear window, this is especially helpful, especially if you have a white serial killer van with no windows.

Pay attention to traffic before road signs. While road signs indicate when to yield, stop, etc. and who has the right of way, paying attention to traffic will certainly help to avoid an accident. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore stop signs or road signs, but that you shouldn’t rely on them and should always follow traffic and use your best judgement. You may be obeying the signs but there are others out there who won’t.

Always leave your headlights on. Because something lit up is always more visible (like your Uncle John at every Christmas party). Studies show that you can reduce your risk of being involved in an accident by up to 32 percent by driving with your headlights on at all times. But, if you are trying to save the life of the bulbs so they last the life of the car, at least use your headlights whenever there is inclement weather and always when you are on a high-speed roadway.

Use your parking brake/emergency brake when parking, even if not parked on a hill. It’s kind of a use it or lose it deal. So, just to keep it in good working order, try to put it on whenever you park. Getting into this habit may also save property and lives. Anton Yelchin’s family has suffered as the result of him not using his emergency brake. Don’t be another statistic.

If you blow out a tire, don’t slam on the brakes. Although this may be instinctual, applying the gas slightly and gripping the wheel as not to steer against the blown tire will avoid a fishtail. Do this until you can regain control until you can take your foot off the gas and let the car slow down on its own, naturally. And then you can change your pants. You should always carry a spare pair of pants along with your spare tire. And try to steer off the road on the same side as the blown tire, not against it. Don’t make sudden corrections and don’t try to re-enter the roadway on uneven pavement.

If you pull onto the freeway shoulder, never use your hazard lights because drunk drivers are attracted to flashing lights. Just like blonds being attracted to shiny objects. Rather, you should put on your signal light as if you are planning to re-enter the freeway (even if you’re not). Because approaching vehicles will expect that you may pull out in their lane and move over a lane for their safety (which in turn is safer for you).

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There are two types of run flat tires, Self Supporting and Auxiliary Supported. Both types require that your car be equipped with a tire pressure monitoring system. The Self Supporting tires are made of a stiffer, tougher rubber that can carry the weight of the car if the tire pressure is low. The Auxiliary ones are made of regular standard tire rubber and has an inner steel rim like a reinforced sidewall to help support the car’s weight.

Another disadvantage is that it is a rougher riding tire. And, they’re hard to get repaired. Some have a “tire mousse” material that instantly seals any small holes. It’s pricey and most regular tire repair shops don’t carry it. So, the tire will likely have to be replaced rather than repaired. Or, if you still have some of that mousse left over from the 80’s, that’d likely be thick enough to plug any hole.

But the safety of being able to drive an extra 50 miles with what would have been a normal blow out and finding yourself stranded on a dark, deserted road sounds like a big plus to me. I’ve used roadside assistance before and it took them 5 hours to arrive. In girl years, that’s a long time. It was dark outside and every serial killer came out of the woodwork to help me change my tire. I’m just kidding, they didn’t. Because I’m sure they’re all very busy….killing and such. That, alone, has to be a full time job.

Until next week….

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Run Flat Tires – Comedy Defensive Driving

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After the slushy sleet angel event, my parents and I were having breakfast at a local diner. I was eavesdropping on the retired postal workers in the booth behind me. They were comparing crazy weather stories and talking about how to keep your car running in winter. Again, it couldn’t have been better timing. I wonder if they noticed that I was taking notes.
One important item that you want to make certain is in good working condition is your battery. I just had an incident on Wednesday where my car wouldn’t start. I had just purchased a new battery, so I knew that couldn’t be the problem. But this time it was the starter. It was a cold and rainy day. But, I was thanking my lucky stars that it was daylight and I was in a well-lit, heavily populated place at the time. Plus, I’m in Texas…where you will always find people with good old fashioned manners willing to help you out. If you are a woman in distress, not to worry. Every serial killer will come out of the woodwork to help you. The starter was something that couldn’t have been detected. But, remember to make sure your battery terminals and connections are free of corrosion.

Keep your windshield clean and clear. Replace your windshield wiper blades, if needed and keep your wiper fluid reservoir topped up. Also, make sure your defroster is working properly.

Don’t forget to check your tire pressure. Your tires lose 1 pound per square inch whenever the temperature drops 10 degrees. Properly inflated tires help with better traction. Also make sure your tires have adequate tread. This will help in snow and ice. If not, you will need to consider replacing them with your Christmas money. And, NO you can’t just “comb” the tread over the bald spots…God knows I’ve tried.

And remember, engine oil tends to thicken as it gets colder. Make sure when you have your oil changed, that you have the best viscosity to keep your engine well lubricated. Switch to a thinner, less viscous oil during the colder months.
This is also an imperative time to check and possiblly flush and replace your antifreeze. It should be mixed with water, 50/50. Use a brand that won’t attract animals. I’ve lost a dog from drinking antifreeze. It’s a bad way to go, and I’m sorry to bring you down.

Keep the gas tank full and keep an emergency winter care kit in your car. Jumper cables, flares, Jack Daniels, money to call and order a pizza, cell phone charger, blanket, water, ice scraper, a small bag cat litter, a cat and a tool kit.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

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Vehicle Maintenance – Tire Pressure

Tire Pressure, Tire Pressure, Where Art Thou Tire Pressure! I know only too well the results of not keeping your tires in check. Not only will keeping your tires filled with the required amount of air (or helium if you drive a smart car) help you to maintain better fuel efficiency, it could keep you from having a mishap. I blew out a tire not too long ago. And, I must admit, it was the scariest thing that has happened to me since I started driving. My dad taught me how to drive…which was not a good thing since he was a drunk driver. So I learned to weave and drift across 3 lanes just like him. He’d set his beer can smack dab on the middle of the dashboard and say “Now line that up with the edge of the road.” Then he’d climb over into the backseat and pass out.

I learned to drive when I was 8 years old. And with all of the experience I have, nothing could prepare me for blowing out a tire. In my experience, if you don’t have your music up too loud, you can hear the tire blow. It sounds exactly like a gunshot. And it scared the crap out of me. The first thing I thought was “Who is shooting at me??” Then the car started to shimmy and I realized I had blown out a tire. Thank God it wasn’t a front tire, because I hear if you’re driving on that front rim, it could really jerk the wheel. Also, in my experience, I discovered that usually when you blow out a tire, you are doing freeway speed, which is very inconvenient. And, you’re usually by yourself and its night time. And every serial killer comes out of the woodwork to help you change that tire. I’ve seen those windscreens that you can put up in your rear window that say “CALL 911.” I wished I had one that said “DON’T STOP TO HELP…I’VE ALREADY CALLED ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE.” I felt bad because, here in Texas, there are good ole boys with good old-fashioned manners. So, of course, several of them stopped to help a woman in distress. I’ve seen horrific things on the news, so I was not taking any chances. After all, it was dark outside. I had all of my doors locked and my driver-side window rolled down just enough that I could communicate but not have someone able to reach in and throttle me. I felt bad mostly because they’d pull up behind me and risk their own lives by squeezing between my car and the semi trucks flying by, just to get to my window. Where I told them, apologetically, “Thanks for risking your life to help, but I have already called roadside assistance and they are on their way.” When, what I really wanted to say was “Didn’t I see you on Craigslist?” Like the Craigslist killer was out there changing tires.

Here’s what you can do to keep those tires inflated and in tip-top shape. Purchase a tire pressure gauge. One should only cost a few dollars, but don’t get a cheap one that may stick or show an improper reading. Most gas stations will have an air hose you can use for just a few quarters. The PSI (i.e. pounds per square inch) requirement should be stamped on the sidewall of the tire itself. Or, inside the car door, there may be a sticker that notes what the actual PSI recommendations are for your type of car. You should try to check your tire pressure when the tires are cold. Use the air gauge to check your tire’s pressure. If it is low, fill it with the air hose a little at a time and keep re-checking it with the tire gauge until it is at its appropriate level. Don’t over-inflate your tires. If this happens, you can use the tire gauge to let air escape…just enough to its recommended level. While under-inflated tires cause wear on the outside of the tire and are actually a driving hazard, over-inflated tires will wear out more quickly and can cause a blowout.

Until next week…keep your ego under-inflated and your tires at their proper inflation.

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Artist / Writer / Idea Mogul

Tire Pressure – Comedy Defensive Driving

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