Now since my boss pays me to write about something defensive driving and driver safety related, I will throw in some driving safety facts along with a bit of “highway of life” inspiration.  OK, traffic safety school tip #1;  Do not use stimulants or crystal meth to stay awake on long distance road trips.  Get plenty of rest before your adventure.

When I am on the road traveling to comedy clubs, casinos and horrid “hole in the wall” bars, especially in New Mexico,  I’m always reminded of the meaning of life;

“The meaning of life is to enjoy.”  That’s it, it stands alone, so simple yet it can be complex if you make it that way.  And if you are chasing your dream on the road or you are just visiting your Uncle Jesco in Boone County, West Virginia, make sure you conduct a vehicle safety maintenance checklist.  Inspect your belts and hoses and don’t forget your tires – Comedy Defensive Driving fact #2.

When I travel down the boulevard of un-broken dreams, it is the most rapturous sense more than an orgasmic and stoned bliss, sprinkled with fatigue.  So pull over every 2 hours or a hundred miles and walk around the car, get the blood circulating again.

I hope you find your Phoenix and have the courage to follow your dreams.Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Touch my Phoenix! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

You walk into their apartment, make sure the steak knives are put away. You sit them down and you say the words …”I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” There, that wasn’t so bad, just like if your car goes off the road and into the water unless you have driven off a bridge, the impact from your car rolling into water is a soft cushioned blow. Beware, just like breaking up, the next few seconds will make all the difference in the world on whether you survive or not.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR CAR IS SINKING:

1. In the car; don’t panic! Gain your composure. There are over 10,000 vehicle submerging accidents in North America every year and 300 of them result in fatal drownings. In the breakup;

Don’t panic! Gain your composure. Marriages, relationships, “friends with benefits” end all the time, you are not alone.

2. In the car; roll down your windows, the longer your car is in the water, the more of a chance your power windows will not work. In the breakup; get ready to hit that door, FAST!

3. In the car; undo your seatbelt. In the breakup; hit them with your belt! JUST KIDDING!

4. In the car; get the hell out of there, duh! In the breakup; GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! Make sure you got all your stuff you’ve had over at their house. Otherwise, it will get burn in some sort of psycho, crazy bi-tch voodoo ritual. Or maybe that’s just some of the women I have dated.

Chances are very likely you will never be involved in a vehicle submerging. But if you do, just remember not to panic, this is something you can live through. And if you’re on the receiving end of breaking up, it’s not the end of the world. Remember the words of Marylin Monroe, “Sometimes bad things happen so it can make way for better things to come.”

Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe

The post Driving Under Water and Breaking up is hard to do appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.