halloween Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving® Tue, 29 Oct 2019 03:23:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 Holiday Parties and Drunk Driving…Scarry! https://dev.comedydefensivedriving.com/holiday-parties-and-drunk-drivingscarry/ Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:00:41 +0000 http://comedydefensivedriving.com/blog/?p=1328 Today is Halloween. And, with all of those little goblins and witches out there, not to mention the ones in the Amy Winehouse Rehab costumes, we want to be on our best behavior when driving through neighborhoods. It’s bad enough when you’re not paying attention in an area swarming with pedestrians.  But drinking on top…

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]]> Today is Halloween. And, with all of those little goblins and witches out there, not to mention the ones in the Amy Winehouse Rehab costumes, we want to be on our best behavior when driving through neighborhoods.
It’s bad enough when you’re not paying attention in an area swarming with pedestrians.  But drinking on top of it could be really bad news.
And, even if you are super careful and don’t flatten a kid, you could still get a trick (dwi) and a treat (being put in a cell with a girly-looking guy named Bubba). Your first offense for driving while intoxicated, at least here in Texas, is a $2,000 fine (by the way, that’s approximately 1550 Snickers bars) and possibly up to 180 days in jail (with your new girlfriend, Bubba, who happens to love Snickers bars). Plus you’ll have one great costume to wear (perhaps in a shocking pumpkin orange or in a nice chain-gang black and white stripe). You’ll definitely have to spend at least 3 days in jail (just enough time for them to tailor your costume to fit). You could lose your drivers license for up to a year (and get it back just in time for Halloween, 2012). I think there’s a special costume for losers who don’t have a driver license…it’s called the forever single costume. And, just to seal the deal, you’ll have to pay a $1,000 annual surcharge for the next three years. You only think it’s over. But they keep reminding you of the terrible mistake you made by sending you a bill monthly or quarterly until you can no longer afford gas or booze (great tactic). And providing alcohol to minors is a whopping $4,000. So don’t even think about it. As they always say to me at Neiman-Marcus… “You can’t afford it.”

AlcoholScreening.org helps people assess their drinking patterns to see if alcohol is likely to be harming their health. And, no, they don’t share your information with Johnny Law and set you up. Your information is private. They do give you the option to share the website with someone you know who might benefit from the site, though. Do this, and you may just get your butt kicked by your drunken friend.  But it’s a cool website. Check it out just for fun.

Until next week…stay safe.

Daun Thompson

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]]> Defensive driving this halloween: Trick-or-treat! https://dev.comedydefensivedriving.com/trick-or-treat/ Mon, 18 Oct 2010 14:12:31 +0000 http://comedydefensivedriving.com/blog/?p=475 “Trick-or-treat, smell my feet, gimmie something good to eat and I hope you don’t hit me on the street!” All Hallows Eve is just around the corner and little kids in costumes are also just around the corner! Hitting a kid dressed as a Twilight vampire is not cool but hitting a 23 year old…

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]]> “Trick-or-treat, smell my feet, gimmie something good to eat and I hope you don’t hit me on the street!”

All Hallows Eve is just around the corner and little kids in costumes are also just around the corner! Hitting a kid dressed as a Twilight vampire is not cool but hitting a 23 year old “Man-child” still living at home, dressed as a Dungeons and Dragons character should accumulate some points. Be careful when you are driving around the neighborhoods this Halloween. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 4,092 pedestrians were killed last year in the United States. Now when you break that down to the little children (Under 14) and Halloween, children are twice as likely to be killed as a pedestrian on October 31st, than any other night of the year, according to Safe Kids USA. When I was a kid trick-or-treating, I thought you always had to watch out for that creepy old guy who lived on the corner and told us we had to drop our pants if we wanted some Butterfingers but now days you have to watch out for drivers, especially the ones who have been drinking!

Be out on the look for goblins and “Thriller’ versions of Michael Jackson this year, slow down, don’t drink and drive but if you drive a van, it’s probably not a good idea to slow down too much around the kids. Between the hours of 5:30pm and 9:30pm is prime time for these little dressed up bastards, so be careful, you don’t want to run over a kid who might be on their way over to egg your house!

I hope you have a fun, safe and happy Halloween this year! Don’t drink and drive and don’t sacrifice any animals to any Pagan Gods and one more thing….I still hate Butterfingers!

Join me again next week and until then….

Take Care and Be Safe-

Danny Keaton

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