hazards on the road Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving®

Driving Safety Course Tips

taylor cox — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 06:59:26 +0000

They can only cover so much information in a driving safety course. So I have compiled a short list of driving safety course tips and techniques that may help in the long run to help prevent accidents and possibly save a life or two.

Don’t have your own car visible in your side mirrors. This is a common mistake that drivers make. You should always angle them away from you until the point where your car is no longer visible in either side mirror. This way there is no overlap between your side mirrors and the rear view mirror, and any car that is passing you on either side will remain in at least one of your side mirrors until it enters your field of vision. Professional drivers lean into their console and adjust their rear view and side mirrors at one time to cover any blind spots. If you don’t have a rear window, this is especially helpful, especially if you have a white serial killer van with no windows.

Pay attention to traffic before road signs. While road signs indicate when to yield, stop, etc. and who has the right of way, paying attention to traffic will certainly help to avoid an accident. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore stop signs or road signs, but that you shouldn’t rely on them and should always follow traffic and use your best judgement. You may be obeying the signs but there are others out there who won’t.

Always leave your headlights on. Because something lit up is always more visible (like your Uncle John at every Christmas party). Studies show that you can reduce your risk of being involved in an accident by up to 32 percent by driving with your headlights on at all times. But, if you are trying to save the life of the bulbs so they last the life of the car, at least use your headlights whenever there is inclement weather and always when you are on a high-speed roadway.

Use your parking brake/emergency brake when parking, even if not parked on a hill. It’s kind of a use it or lose it deal. So, just to keep it in good working order, try to put it on whenever you park. Getting into this habit may also save property and lives. Anton Yelchin’s family has suffered as the result of him not using his emergency brake. Don’t be another statistic.

If you blow out a tire, don’t slam on the brakes. Although this may be instinctual, applying the gas slightly and gripping the wheel as not to steer against the blown tire will avoid a fishtail. Do this until you can regain control until you can take your foot off the gas and let the car slow down on its own, naturally. And then you can change your pants. You should always carry a spare pair of pants along with your spare tire. And try to steer off the road on the same side as the blown tire, not against it. Don’t make sudden corrections and don’t try to re-enter the roadway on uneven pavement.

If you pull onto the freeway shoulder, never use your hazard lights because drunk drivers are attracted to flashing lights. Just like blonds being attracted to shiny objects. Rather, you should put on your signal light as if you are planning to re-enter the freeway (even if you’re not). Because approaching vehicles will expect that you may pull out in their lane and move over a lane for their safety (which in turn is safer for you).

Driving Safety Course Tips – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Road Trip

Daun Thompson — Mon, 30 May 2016 17:34:39 +0000

Over 38 million people hit the roads this weekend for the Memorial Day holiday. According to AAA, over 300,000 of those people were going to have to be rescued because of low tire pressure, battery loss, etc. There would be absolutely no excuse for running out of gas, though, since gas prices are currently at the lowest in a decade! Following a checklist before blasting off, may save you some grief. If you’re OCD, you’re likely a step ahead of the rest of us. Here’s a quick checklist for your road trip.

• Get a car check up at a nearby mechanic. Ask them to check everything. Battery, tires, oil, wiper fluid and all other fluid levels, spare tire and brakes.
• Check to make sure your tire jack is intact and that a crucial part is not missing (I learned this the hard way, when I took my car to a mechanic and months later found that the crank down bar to lower my spare tire had been removed from my car. I had to replace it my own expense).
• Pack plenty of water and healthy snacks to keep you hydrated and alert.
• Keep a spare key with a passenger, or hidden around the exterior of your car.

Or, heck, just fly and rent a car. You’ll get to spend more time at your vacation destination. And you don’t have to worry about the extra expense and wear and tear on your own vehicle. Besides, there’s a reason why the most common phrase you hear in a car rental location is “Who cares?? It’s a RENTAL!”

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

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Roadside Assistance

Daun Thompson — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 03:04:00 +0000

In Texas, there is an 800 number printed on the back of your driver license or ID card for roadside assistance and emergencies. If your car is disabled on a state or federal roadway in Texas, you can call the number to request non-emergency assistance. The number is super tiny, so you may need a magnifying glass just to read it. The number is also printed on the registration sticker in your windshield. There, you will find it to be a little larger type and much easier to read. A stranded vehicle is a hazard for other cars on the roadway. And, in traffic, the shoulder where the car would likely be stranded is for emergency vehicles.
The roadside assistance service will only change a tire or put a little gas in your car, whichever you need to get you back on the road. They will not tow your vehicle. And, your vehicle must be on the freeway. They will not assist you if you are on an exit or entrance ramp, on the access road or anywhere else, other than the freeway or roadway. Sometimes, even driving a few extra feet on a rim seems a little safer than being stranded on a high speed roadway, especially when large trucks pass you. It is also not for emergencies and not a substitute for 9-1-1 and the number is not to be used as an information hotline or to find a date.
And, while you’re waiting for your knight in shining armor to arrive, here’s a little safety tip for you. Don’t put your hazard lights on while stranded on the freeway. Drunk drivers are attracted to flashing lights (kinda like how blonds are attracted to shiny objects). It would be better to turn on your signal as if you were going to re-enter the freeway from the shoulder (even if you’re not), because other motorists may move over a lane to allow you to re-enter (Really? No one is ever that courteous, they’re more likely afraid you’ll pull out in front of them and will move over for their own safety). This, in turn, would be safer for you, rather than having traffic pass next to you while you wait for assistance.
So now you know that your I.D. or driver license is good for more than picking a lock.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
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Vacationing Drivers

Daun Thompson — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:54:27 +0000

This week, I am on the beautiful Florida coast. It’s a nice, sunny place with a lot of shady people. I suppose that wouldn’t fit on a license plate, so they just decided to call it the Sunshine State. I refuse to go into the Ocean here because everything in the Ocean has teeth (even the plants). I saw an elderly woman pushing a shopping cart all the way from a parking lot to the store. Awww…isn’t that nice? She’s bringing the cart back into the store, instead of leaving it in the parking lot? My sister said that it’s because it’s actually cheaper than a walker. She’s probably right. Vacationing drivers are beyond scary. Here, everyone passes on the right, because everyone is doing 25mph in the left lane. They call those slow drivers here “Q-Tips.” Since I’ve been here, I’ve asked several people, both native Floridians and transplants, what exactly is the seat belt law in Florida. No one seems to know. Nor, do they seem to care. Perhaps there should be a reality show called “I Survived “Myself.”

They’ve recently put in some traffic circles or roundabouts near where I’m staying. They’re created for traffic “calming”, but they seem to only confuse and annoy people and cause them to get agitated. So, not really what they were going for, but it’s the thought that counts.

There are crosswalks in touristy areas in random places. And, if you don’t stop, it’s a hefty fine. But, time is money. And with people here taking about 20 minutes to cross the street, perhaps they should add a traffic calming circle there and just get it over with. In the center of the roundabout, they could build a PrimaCare and a Walgreens. Maybe even a Chiropractor’s office. Those traffic circles would be a great place to advertise for any of the above.

Tomorrow, I’ll be in Chicago. Let’s just see what taxi driver experiences I can share.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Florida Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Blowing Out A Tire

Daun Thompson — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 15:29:25 +0000

Blowing out a tire has been, by far, the most frightening thing that has ever happened to me in my many years of driving. I suppose I should feel lucky that it was a rear tire that blew out, rather than a front tire. I have heard that blowing out a front tire can really jerk the wheel and is much more dangerous. When the tire blew, it sounded exactly like a shotgun. And it scared the crap out of me. Unfortunately, when you blow a tire, you are usually on a freeway, driving at a high speed. And, from my experience, it’s just more unfortunate luck that it’s at night and you’re by yourself. And every serial killer comes out of the woodwork to help you change that tire. I called roadside assistance, locked all of my doors and rolled up my windows. But I left my driver side window rolled down just a smidgeon, so I could communicate with someone when they approached the car. But, not enough that they could reach inside my window and throttle me. A few good Samaritans did stop to rend assistance. And I felt like a jerk, talking to them through the slightly cracked window “Thanks for stopping to help, but I’ve already called roadside assistance.” What I really wanted to say is “Didn’t I see you on Craigslist?”

It only took roadside assistance 25 minutes to arrive. But, at night, in girl years, 25 minutes is an eternity. In Texas, there is an 800 number on the back of your driver’s license that you can call for roadside assistance and emergencies. And, the best thing is, it’s free. It’s offered to anyone who has blown out a tire or run out of gas on Texas highways. But you actually have to be on the highway to use it. You cannot be on a ramp or access road.

The other frightening thing about being broken down on the side of a freeway was that every time a large truck would pass by, my car would shimmy. And that was also a frightening feeling. I remembered hearing that, if you break down on either shoulder, you shouldn’t put your hazard lights on. But, rather, you should put your signal light on. As if you were going to re-enter the freeway. Passersby may see that you have your signal light on and will be concerned that you may be re-entering into their lane, and may move over into the next lane when passing. In using the signal, there were significantly less vehicles passing right next to me at a high speed. That was a great tip that I am so glad I remembered. And you can pass that tip on to people you know.

If you have a car tire blowout, and you make sudden corrections or jerk the wheel at a high speed, you could roll your car. So, it is highly recommended that you follow these steps, should it ever happen to you. Take your foot off the gas, so your car slows down on its own, naturally. Grip the wheel (especially a front rim could really jerk the wheel). Oh, and change your pants. Because blowing out a tire will most certainly scare the crap out of you. I would recommend you put a spare pair of pants in the trunk with your spare tire. You’re going to need them.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Blowing Out A Tire – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Labor Day Travel

Daun Thompson — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:34:53 +0000

Labor Day Travel

Labor Day has a whole new kind of meaning for those of us who have given birth. Why don’t they have a day for us? Oh, that’s right, they do. It’s called Mother’s Day. Or, “CPS Day” for some of us. Here’s a little nugget of knowledge to hang on to. Did you know that CPS will babysit for FREE! And, if you play your cards right, they will babysit for YEARS! But some of you mothers already know that. I am curious, why doesn’t Mothers Day ever come on a Monday? And why isn’t it a paid holiday, and a long week end? That way, mothers that slur can start celebrating at 5:00 p.m. on Friday and stay in the celebratory mode until late Monday evening?

Drinking on long week ends makes Labor Day travel even more of a risky venture. Not only are there drunk drivers on the roads but also hungover drivers with the brown bottle flu. Drivers with slow reflexes, anger issues and some with a death wish. Surely you’ll see some of them weaving and drifting their way back home. That has to be tough on the kiddos being towed behind the car in your boat. They thought it would be all fun and games. You thought it would be an excellent form of punishment. After all, you are the parent…the adult…the decision maker.

The American Red Cross offers tips for safe Labor Day travel. Be well rested and alert, use your seat belts, observe speed limits and follow the rules of the road. If you plan on drinking alcohol, designate a driver who won’t drink. The Red Cross also offers other tips for road trip safety.

• Give your full attention to the road. Avoid distractions such as cell phones.
• Don’t follow another vehicle too closely.
• Use caution in work zones.
• Make frequent stops.
• Clean your vehicle’s lights and windows to help you see, especially at night.
• Turn your headlights on as dusk approaches or during inclement weather.
• Don’t overdrive your headlights.

And remember, each state you travel through has its own traffic laws. In some states, you can’t take a right turn at a red light, nor a left turn at a red light onto a one way road from a one way road. You may also be required to have a license plate on both the back and the front of your car. Keep your insurance card handy. Use your signals no matter what, even if you’re in a designated turn lane. Never cross over a double solid line. And the 10% “cushion” over the speed limit doesn’t always apply. Police say the speed limit sign means what it says. It’s the “limit” and if you go over that limit, they could write you a ticket. Some states now require that you follow the officer to the local courthouse and pay your ticket in a deposit box before leaving their state. This economy has resulted in some sad, desperate measures.

Happy Labor Day travels from Comedy Defensive Driving to you and yours.

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist / Idea Mogul

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Steer Clear – Hazards On The Road

Daun Thompson — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 20:38:43 +0000

Before I started driving, the first hazard on the road that I experienced was when my drunk dad skid on a patch of black ice and wrecked our mini bike. I think that would be a great t.v. show “My Drunk Dad.” I’d watch it, for one. Heck, I’d even d.v.r. it. And I know all of my friends would watch it too. Seems like most people could relate to a t.v. show or even a reality show about the antics of a drunken provider. Perhaps that show with William H. Macy would have been better entitled My Drunk Dad, rather than Shameless. But back to the mini bike. Perhaps the 7+ inches of snow contributed to its demise. The same day he assembled it, he took it apart…in a snow embankment. Well, at least he survived, but not the mini bike. Road conditions and weather conditions both led to this particular hazard on the road. But other issues such as trucks hauling hazardous liquids or materials could be an accident waiting to happen.

Steering clear of them, rather than riding close by would be your best bet. Even a landscape service truck with all of their equipment loaded in the back could wind up being a hazard on the road. You never know if that equipment is secured in the back. So, following directly behind one of those trucks could lead to your demise. One of those leaf blowers could fall out. And what if the leaf blower guy is still attached to it? After having one of those guys with the leaf blower wake you up at 6:00 a.m., it would be a tough decision whether you should swerve or not, wouldn’t it? I was thinking about purchasing a bb gun at Wal-Mart for the next time one of those guys wakes me up. Even someone hauling furniture in the back of their truck, like a sofa or mattress could be a hazard on the road. And other hazards on the road that you maybe wouldn’t even have thought about…such as a diaper delivery service truck (eww!)…or santa’s toys falling out of his sleigh…or even reindeer poo (ewww!).

So, look out for falling objects, slick roads and tiny reindeer droppings.

Daun Thompson

Comedienne / Artist / Writer

Hazards On The Road – Comedy Defensive Driving

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LIKE A REINDEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS

Daun Thompson — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:41:26 +0000

Or, more like a deer in the headlights. Which is exactly what my drivers license picture looks like. And to think, I was all excited about getting a new license with a shiny new picture. You know, they only allow you to renew that old license with that youthful picture for so long. I waited in line at the DPS for 4 hours! Can you believe it? I was looking around for Ashton Kutcher. I thought I was being punked. I think they make you wait in line at the DPS for 4 hours so you’ll look exactly the same as you’re going to look when the cops pull you over. A little cranky and put-out! So, I tried to create my best fake smile. And, I remember waiting for weeks for my license to come in the mail (of course they mailed it the following day…but it was mailed through the US Postal System…need I say more??) There I was, anxiously anticipating the receipt of my new license through the mail. Only to find, to my disappointment, the worst picture ever! It looked as if someone had goosed me right as they snapped the picture. Hence, the deer in the headlights. Oh well. Enough about that!
With the winter holidays and holiday travel, you may encounter a deer or two in your headlights on your road trip. Perhaps even a reindeer, but doubtful. In the winter, deer find their way out to that black top pavement where the sun has been warming it all day. So beware! Don’t let anything distract you while you’re driving. Give yourself plenty of reaction time and know where your “out” is at all times.
I’m originally from the Midwest, where the deer are massive. My Dad hit one of those giant deer when I was a kid. He was coming home from work (i.e. the pub). The deer came through the windshield of his car and the antlers cut him across the forehead. He still has a frankenstein-like scar (that’s actually his surgeon’s name…really). And then we had venison for about 3 years after that. My mom didn’t know how to prepare it. So she’d mix it with ManWich Sauce. She called them “Deerwiches”. I hate venison to this day. Just plain burned out on it, I suppose. My parents probably still have some in their deep freeze from 43 years ago. My mom hasn’t cleaned out the deep freeze in about 43 years. That’s for sure. Jimmy Hoffa and the Lindergh baby are probably in there. That’s when a Kenmore lasted 40+ years. Don’t get me started.
During your excursion this holiday season, should you encounter a deer in your headlights, don’t panic. You just don’t want to hit it head-on like my dad’s deer. He was lucky. That deer could easily injure you or possibly kill you. Or, wouldn’t be just your luck that you’re going through a camera light with that deer sitting on your lap? That would be on You Tube forever. The best thing to do, if you can’t avoid hitting the deer, try to create a sideswipe on it. Whether you hit it head-on or sideswipe it, either way, it’s probably not going to survive. But at least both y’all don’t have to die. Human life is more precious than animal life. So if it’s between your family and that deer, you gotta take fluffy out. Fluffy’s gotta take one for the team. In mountainous areas, I am told, they teach drivers to shut their headlights off briefly, so the deer will be “un-stunned” (is that even a word??…it is now…and you’ll see it on Wikipedia tomorrow, I betcha!). I hope they don’t neglect to tell those mountain people “don’t forget to turn the lights back on”. Now I’m worried! Oh dear…I mean oh deer! Until next week. Have a wonderful deer-free, venison-free holiday. And look out for that reindeer in your headlights!

Daun Thompson

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