What a mess it is now on our highways and roads. They are doing construction on all of the freeways and many residential streets in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. This, coupled with people locating here for jobs, makes it a real mess. I feel sorry for those newbies that don’t know their way around and don’t know the shortcuts. I see people just sitting in their cars on the freeway at 3 p.m., it’s like a giant parking lot. I would want those hours of my life back. I can see why people get irritated and rage out at one another because road construction brings life to a halt. The online mapping websites are not much help anymore, either. Heck, even one with decent directions will still have you do a u-turn in the middle of the freeway…and that’s a good one. GPS isn’t always helpful, either. Unless you have an i-phone and can download the latest information about lane closures and exit / entrance ramp closures, it’s sometimes useless. I teach a class where the students are told to be there on time or we won’t let them in. People show up late, all red in the face…some even in tears (mostly the women). I size them up and if they’re bigger than me, I let them in. I don’t want to get beat up by one of my own students.

The cool thing is, around here, they are widening the freeways. This is part of the efforts of our highway and road construction and they are lengthening the entrance and exit ramps in these areas. I had read something about 2-1/2 years ago that Texas is one of the only states in the nation that is doing this. The article said that Texas is taking some responsibility for how some of our highways and roads are “poorly designed.” Currently, the police are writing tickets for people entering and exiting the freeway too fast and for speeding on the access roads. The problem is, with the short ramp, most people have to get up to speed on the access road before they hit that short launching pad of a ramp to get up to the speed of traffic. And the flow of traffic is usually 80 mph in the right lane. There’s another problem…people doing 80 in the right lane and 45 in the left lane. Both make people nuts. And you will get a ticket for exceeding the speed limit on the access road. You cannot exceed the speed limit until you enter the ramp. So, good luck…until they lengthen the entrance ramps, you may want to go out and get yourself a crotch rocket motorcycle or a really fast car. Also, maybe if you didn’t do 80 in the slow lane, perhaps, karmatically, others will do it for you. And, upon exiting the freeway, people are exiting at freeway speed or higher. And, although the traffic on the access road must yield to a ramp (at least in Texas that is the law), most people don’t yield. And, if you’re coming off the freeway at 60, 70, 80 mph, you could hit that non-yielding moron right in the driver side door. At that high of a speed, they may not survive the impact. And you will get cited for exiting the freeway too fast. So, until they lengthen the exit ramps where they can, you may want to try to decelerate before exiting the ramp. Therefore, the people tailgating you will also naturally decelerate. Rather than locking ‘em up to get from 80 down to 35. So, good luck out there with all of the highway and road construction. You’ll need it. You may want to hang a lucky rabbits foot from your rearview mirror. I guess those one-legged rabbits out there aren’t so lucky…are they.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Artist / Writer / Benevolent Thesbo

Highway and Road Construction – Comedy Defensive Driving

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When I first heard this, I must admit, that Sammy Hagar song “I Can’t Drive 55” came to mind.I thought he wrote that in ’95 when the California speed limit was raised from 55 to 65.But, apparently he wrote it in ’85. Eleven years earlier.I didn’t know he was claire voyant.You’d think he would have seen that Van Halen thing coming…hmmmm.

At 80 mph, Texas’ speed limit is already one of the highest in the nation.And people can’t even do that!Some people are concerned that elevating the speed limit may cause more accidents.More deaths.You’ll get there faster….but you may arrive dead.There were less road deaths when the national speed limit was 55 in 1973.All states had adopted the 55 mph speed limit to keep federal highway funding.The number of fatalities increased when the speed limit was raised to 65 mph on some rural interstates in the late 80’s and again when the national speed limit was abolished altogether in the mid-90’s. In 2006, Texas raised their speed limit from 70 or 75 to 80 on 2 highways in west Texas. Texas now has more than 500 miles of highway with a speed limit of 80. If set at 85, most will drive 90 or 95.I think some people just put the pedal to the metal to see if the speedometer, past that certain point, really works, or is fake.  (Not me…)

Researchers also are saying that speeding increases fuel consumption and could end up costing tax payers more in the long run.According to the U.S. Department of Energy, speeding increases fuel consumption. And every 5 mph you drive over 60 mph is like paying an additional .25 per gallon for gas.

I had heard that, in California, if everyone is speeding and you’re not, you can get a ticket for not keeping up with the flow of traffic. But the police will give you a ticket for speeding, just the same. Which way to go? Maybe try to do the speed limit!The ‘flow of traffic’ concept would not apply if the drivers were all exceeding the posted speed limit. All drivers would be breaking the law by driving faster than 70. But if the motorist in front driving 70 were to drop his speed to 69 or lower, he could be cited for impeding flow of traffic if he didn’t move to a slower lane where traveling below the maximum, or posted, speed limit is acceptable. California doesn’t have minimum speed limits. You simply must drive to the right, or in right-hand lanes, if you elect to drive slower than the flow or slower than the maximum limit.If they would have passed that Proposition 19, regarding marijuana, there would have been a lot less speeders in California. A lot more slow , paranoid drivers. And a lot more job openings, since some of those people would be less ambitiuos to show up to work.

Exactly one year ago, I had read that the 5-10 mph “cushion” authorities give drivers may soon be disappearing, as city and state officials try to make up lost revenue.Now, one year later, they were spot-on.I bet Sammy Hagar already knew that. A study by the National Motorists Association says more drivers are being pulled over, only going a couple miles over the speed limit.Of the top ten speed traps noted by the National Motorists Association, three are here in Texas. Dallas, Austin, and, number one, Houston.

God love traffic enforcement folk. That’s a job I certainly would not want. All day long….pulling people over….getting the sour puss. No one would ever be glad to see you… “Oh, I’m so glad you pulled me over…I needed someone to talk to.” Most police would probably like to give everyone a warning, but sometimes nothing modifies your behavior more than paying hundreds of dollars for a moving violation, sitting through a 6 hour defensive driving class, or sudden death.

Until next week.  Be safe.

Daun Thompson

(Daun Thompson is a comedienne, artist and writer living in Dallas, Texas)

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