Signaling

Daun Thompson — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 18:30:55 +0000

Have you ever had someone point out your bad driving habits? I thought my driving skills were unsurpassed, until a friend pointed out that I hadn’t signaled the entire time they were in my car. Can it be true? Had I become a non-signaler like everyone else? There is certainly no excuse for why I stopped signaling. After all, I don’t typically sit in rush hour traffic. Those aren’t my hours. So, maybe since I have chosen a career that does not me to drive in peak traffic hours, perhaps at times there is no one to signal to. Or, perhaps I was just trying to save the life of the bulb so it lasts the life of the car. Because we all know that the bulb will cost under $5, but the labor is where they get you. Most auto parts stores will change the bulb for free. They will also change a battery, windshield wipers and do a free diagnostic test on your vehicle. That’s good to know when funds are tight.
Since I was called out for not signaling, I have become extremely self-conscious and now find myself over-signaling. I even turn on my signal before I pull into my own darned driveway. My neighbor’s son is policeman and also parks in front of her house. It would be just my luck that he would write me a ticket right here on my own street. And now that I am a reformed non-signaler, I notice that most people don’t bother to signal at all. And those that do use their signal, leave it on for eternity.
The law is, you must turn on your signal 100 feet before changing lanes or turning. That’s going to seem like quite a distance, unless you’re traveling at a high speed. A football field is 300 feet. They used to teach new drivers to count 2-3 car lengths or a house length. But we had big old boats for cars back then. Now there are minis and smart cars. Now, I hear, they teach students to measure from one utility pole to another. But with utilities now being buried under ground, that will soon be obsolete. Two semi-truck trailers (not the cab, but the trailers alone) would measure just a few inches under, or just a few inches over 100 feet. If you are still not quite sure of how to gauge 100 feet, just buy a tape measure at the dollar store. Or you can ask the guy with the restraining order. Surely he will know.

Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
(…you can see Daun Thompson live January 29 at Café Salsera in Dallas…or go to DaunThompson.com for show dates)

Signaling – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Citation Nation – How I Got a Texas Traffic Ticket!

Daun Thompson — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 15:47:05 +0000

I just received my first citation in many, many years. The secret to my clean driving record is, I drive like a nervous chihuahua looking out for cops. And, no, I’m not mad at the cop, although he was a weenie. You know, the type that really wants to say “Ha Ha” but holds back because he’s trying to be somewhat professional. I’m sure that I deserve a fine, and it was way overdue. In hind sight, I should have told him “You should have seen how fast I was speeding earlier, officer” but I didn’t. I didn’t even tell him that I teach defensive driving because I didn’t have time for him to give me a lecture. The sad thing is, I do know better. And, I wasn’t actually speeding. What I did is, I took a right turn at a stop sign and didn’t come to a complete stop. Some call it a California roll or rolling stop. According to law, in order for your car to come to a complete stop, it has to “settle.” Counting three seconds before you leave a stop sign or before you take a right on red will assure your car has actually settled and save you (and by you, I mean me)…around $215…what???…for a California roll? So, I suppose if you have spinners on your wheels, it looks like you never stop. As I indicated, the law says that your car has to settle, not that you have to stop for three seconds. But, it would be a good habit to get into so you don’t get a ticket for it. Perhaps I got tripped up because I was bragging that I haven’t gotten a ticket in a long, long time. I see other people bragging about it and they get three tickets in a row, like celebrity deaths. It’s like the karma monkey trips them up for bragging about it.
So, I must have done something to upset the balance of my karma, because, so far this year, I have gotten not only this ticket, I also have received a camera light ticket and have had my car towed. I’m considering taking the bus. With the price of gas, tolls, insurance and anxiety medication, it may be less expensive in the long run to take a cab or a bus. You rarely see those drivers being pulled over by the police, do you?

Until next week…

Daun Thompson

The post Citation Nation – How I Got a Texas Traffic Ticket! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

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Signaling

Citation Nation – How I Got a Texas Traffic Ticket!