road rage Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving®

HEADLIGHT FLASHING

Daun Thompson — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 12:00:34 +0000

I remember back in the good old days when headlight flashing was a communication tool. If you flashed your headlights behind someone in the passing lane it was to be interpreted as “Please move over so that I may pass you.” Now, apparently it means “Get the heck out of my way.” Truckers still flash their headlights at you after you have passed them to let you know it’s safe to return to the right lane in front of them. But what about flashing your headlights to let someone know that there is a speed trap ahead of them? You can forget that one too. Now, police may consider that a misuse of headlights (unless they consider the First Amendment).

Other Meanings For Headlight Flashing

I’ve only mentioned three uses for headlight flashing. Here are a few others:

To say “thank you.”
To attract attention, like blowing your horn (an “optical horn”).
To let another driver know that you are yielding the right of way.
To make other drivers aware of road dangers.
To remind another driver that their high beams are on.

Urban Legend or Truth?

Oh yes, and the good old urban legend that has been circulating since the late 1990’s. Do you remember the one about gang initiation? If you are driving after dark and you see an oncoming car with no headlights on, do not flash your headlights at them. Supposedly the legend goes that gang members will kill everyone in the car. And, why would you not believe this could happen since people lose their minds all of the time in traffic. We see it every day in the news.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson

Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Headlight Flashing – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Male v.s. Female Drivers

Daun Thompson — Tue, 23 Jan 2018 16:36:11 +0000

It has been an ongoing argument since the caveman invented the wheel (or was it Fred Flintstone?) that men are better drivers than women. Or are they? Statistically, more men die in car crashes than women. But, statistically, men drive more than women. My own personal observation regarding male vs female drivers is that men are more confident in their driving skills. That’s not saying that they’re better drivers than women, but when asked if they consider themselves good drivers they always say yes (without hesitation). Women don’t brag about their driving skills and typically answer with a simple “I’m just okay.” Of course skill is an important factor, along with maturity and responsibility.

Of both genders, a majority of men don’t wear safety belts. Statistically, men drink and drive more than women. They tend to tailgate more and are or aggressive drivers. And men typically drive faster than women and take more risks. That is why the Department of Motor Vehicles warns that testosterone fueled male drivers are risky business, making their insurance higher than females since they stand a much higher chance of getting in an accident. Owning sports cars or muscle cars are also costly to insure. So, while vehicular fatalities and insurance rates are higher for males, women are said to still make a lot more mistakes behind the wheel causing fender benders, but not necessarily fatalities.

Although the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety claims that teenage girls are twice as likely as teenage boys to engage in texting or talking on the phone while driving, scientists say that men get distracted more easily than women.

Perhaps with seat belt laws, air bags and newer safety technology in cars, we won’t even be having this “who’s the better driver” conversation. Especially when all cars are self-driving.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Male v.s. Female Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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Road Rage

Daun Thompson — Tue, 16 Jan 2018 19:10:59 +0000

Now that the holidays are over, we can get back to being our old, angry selves. How many of us have thought “Let’s just cut the phony business and stop being the nice, caring and giving individuals that we portrayed ourselves to be throughout the holiday season.” Who cares about other people’s feelings? I have feelings of my own to deal with. I noticed that the temporary “niceness” even filtered into driving courtesies until approximately January 1st. As if going back to work wasn’t a big enough let-down, drivers are back to their old cranky selves.

Road rage is the leading cause for accidents. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), 94% of all traffic accidents are caused by driver error. And, of those accidents, 33% could be linked to behaviors typically assigned to road rage, such as illegal maneuvering or misjudging the intent of another driver. I have asked students in my Comedy Defensive Driving class why everyone seems to be in a big hurry. Most, like me, say they don’t manage their time well. And I could benefit from taking my own advice, but leaving for the big commute earlier will not only save you stress, but will also save you money by not having to pay extra to use costly express lanes. Being in a big rush when others don’t seem to inevitably causes us to tailgate. There are unlimited triggers for causing road rage. Some are typical and obvious. I thought I’d compile a list of the top eight. Perhaps you can add to this list and look for these triggers in your own commute to try to be a kinder, more patient driver.

• Tailgating
• Cutting other people off
• Not signaling before changing lanes or turning
• Not yielding
• Blocking drivers from changing lanes
• Passing on the shoulder
• Talking or texting while driving
• Driving in someone’s blind spot

Sometimes being in a road rage situation is unavoidable. But your best bet is to try to pay attention and not offend other drivers. Be courteous and don’t change lanes unless you have room to. Don’t follow too close and don’t hog the passing lane (the left lane). And hand gestures warrant a good butt-whoopin’.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Road Rage – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Rushed Drivers

Daun Thompson — Mon, 22 May 2017 15:45:09 +0000

Why are drivers always in such a big darned hurry? Apparently, impatience leads to rudeness. I remember when attempting to pass someone in the left lane, you would flash your headlights at them. This used to mean “I would like to pass you, please, would you mind moving over to the right lane so that I may do so.” And now when you flash your headlights to pass, it apparently means “Get the heck out of my way.” When did we become such rushed drivers? I’m not saying that I am exempt. I find myself being impatient as well. And I can only speak for myself, but the reason that I am always in such a big darned rush is because I don’t manage my time well. But can that be true for the masses? If I were my adult self, speaking to my inner child, I would say that I should plan to leave earlier so I can relax and not get stressed out while driving to work. There are, of course, other factors that lend to one’s tardiness, such as road construction, traffic, accidents, weather and other unseen events. Listening to the radio for the latest traffic reports sounds ideal but music is much more soothing to the savage beast, eh? And, this is just a passing thought, but I bet there are a lot less impatient speeders and Colorado, Oregon, California and Washington. Police are likely writing zero speeding tickets and responding to less road rage incidents. Now, in those states police are probably writing more tickets for driving too slow or sitting at a stop sign, waiting for it to turn green.
And what are we teaching our kids who are lead by our example? Kids are like little sponges that absorb everything they see and hear. Again, I am not exempt. I will admit, my daughter’s first word was a bad word that she learned while riding in the car with me. I have always prided myself in doing clean comedy. I rarely swear and when I do it’s usually quite mild. So, I was quick to blame my younger sister. I asked her to watch her language around my kid because she’s picking up bad words. It escalated to my tiny toddler swearing in public places. We were in the grocery store, passed a man in an aisle and she called him a bad word. I apologized profusely and he said “That’s okay, lady. I’ve been called worse. But not by a baby.” She eventually stopped saying the word and life was peaceful again. One day, I was driving, she was asleep in her car seat and another car cut us off. Out of my mouth came that exact word. Good thing she was asleep and didn’t hear. But it was then that I realized it was me all along that she was mimicking, not my sister. I never told my sister, though. Although we all like to believe that we are basically good, kind hearted human beings, our alter-ego emerges when driving. This is especially true of rushed drivers.
So take a deep breath, buckle up and be kind out there. You’re not going to arrive any faster by being a jerk. Less stress is good for your heart and soul. And remember, there are little sponges out there learning how to treat others by our examples (good or bad).

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Rushed Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Honking Your Car Horn

Daun Thompson — Mon, 04 Jan 2016 16:05:54 +0000

Honking your car horn has an entirely different purpose than it did back in the early 1900’s when it was invented. I can see in the very near future, a car horn will be equipped with a variety of sounds that can be chosen, according to the mood of the driver. Perhaps you could choose a cow’s “moo” for someone driving too slowly. Much like a cattle drive, it could even play a gentle tune. Like Roy Roger’s 1940’s “Git along little dogies…” Or, for when someone is not paying attention when the light turns green, perhaps it can make a sound like someone clearing their throat. Don’t you think that humor is the best remedy for any tense situation? That’s why I like to use humor on dates. Like escaping out of the ladies room window on a first/last date (for me, the first date is always the last).
So, the horn was originally invented to warn others of a vehicle’s approach or presence. As in exiting an alley, where you will be crossing a sidewalk occupied by pedestrians. Or, honking to get someone’s attention when you feel that you may be in their blind spot. Because it’s always better to be safe than sorry. The horn is also to be used to call attention to some hazard. Generally, you should only honk the horn when reasonably necessary to insure safe driving. So, when is it unacceptable to use your horn? Well, according to my Dad, it is totally inappropriate for your “date” to honk when they pull into your driveway, rather than coming to the door. And, looking back, he probably didn’t come to the door because he was barefoot, which was also socially unacceptable to my dear old Dad. Or when your neighbor feels that they need to honk the horn at their kid to get a move on because they’re going to be late for school (ugh). Honking to scold or correct another driver’s mistakes is also unacceptable and could lead to a busted windshield or a keying to your car’s flawless paint finish. It is against the law to honk in some areas, such as hospital zones. To the British, the word “honking” means “to vomit.” The British are always spot-on.
Honestly, people are so impatient when the red light turns green. They don’t even give you time to take your foot off the brake and put it on the gas before they start honking at you. Like “What, are you waiting for, another shade of green?” I’ve been told that, in New York City, they start honking at you when the cross light turns yellow. Just to make sure that you’re paying attention. But texting, even when stopped at a red light in New York City is against the law. But not everyone abides by the law. I suppose that drivers have become conditioned to expect that most traffic doesn’t immediately move when the light turns green. We’ve all sat through two red lights because the person in front didn’t go when the light turned green. At least not until they looked up and realized that the light had already turned yellow. But too late for you. So you slowly pull up into the front lines, preparing yourself to sit through another red light.
So the horn is not to be used to “vent.” It is a communication device which should be used as such.
In designating a modified “Taxi of Tomorrow” in New York City, the Taxi and Limousine Commission decreed the taxi must have “a low-annoyance horn.” In addition, an interior light must flash when the button is pushed, in part to help police catch illegal honking. And there are different requirements in many countries. For instance, in some European countries, South Korea and Japan, horns are required to be at least 93 decibels. That’s more than a lawnmower engine (90 decibels) but less than a loud motorcycle (95 decibels), according to the National Institute on Deafness and other Communication Disorders. And communication “disorder” it is. Perhaps the horn could even be deemed as communication “abuse.”
So lets lay off the horn, unless absolutely necessary. Cut everyone a break.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Honking Your Car Horn – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Left Lane Is For Passing Only

Daun Thompson — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:36:57 +0000

I read a post that a friend of mine made on Facebook that she had been pulled over in Illinois for driving in the left lane on the freeway. She was stunned that the officer told her that the left lane is for passing only. First of all, I find it funny that she didn’t already know this since we met in my Comedy Defensive Driving School classroom. She, and her lead foot were in there for speeding. Probably speeding in the left lane, I’m guessing.

Although it’s only posted on signs on Interstates that the left lane is for passing only, this applies to any high speed roadway. For one reason, it’s a giant road rage issue. Even if you’re already speeding in the left lane (that’s why people call it the “fast lane”), traffic in all lanes may be traveling at the same speed and there are cars behind them, trying to pass and it makes them nuts. So the left lane should always be left open for passing. It helps with the flow of traffic.

If the highway, freeway, interstate or rural route is only two lanes, you are still expected to stay in the right lane, unless you are passing. When traffic is merging from an on-ramp, moving over to the passing lane to allow traffic to enter the right lane is acceptable since that is considered a passing situation. But camping out in the right lane is certainly a moving violation. Or, perhaps good, probable cause to pull you over and detain you with a 45 minute lecture.

So, not only Illinois enforces the left passing only law, all states are writing citations for it. And, here in Texas, I know for certain since I hear about it in my classes from students, driving 75mph in a 60mph zone is still too slow for other drivers. They’ll pass you on the right before you can even move over to allow them to pass. They’ll also honk at you and flip you off. That’s what the sunroof is for, btw. It’s for giving people the finger. And if you can drive with your knees, you can flip them off with both hands.

Until next week… (btw, come see me Sunday, 7/26 at the Ft. Worth Hyena’s Comedy Club with the brilliant Barry Sobel)

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Left Lane Is For Passing Only – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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Coping in Traffic

Daun Thompson — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 15:15:05 +0000

I’m in Chicago for the 4th of July holiday weekend. It’s a crazy week, with so many festivals going on at the same time. Blues Fest, Grateful Dead Show, Taste of Chicago, Cubs game and, of course, the Gay Pride Parade. I’m about 5′ 1″, so festivals are usually not my bag. In a crowd, I am typically at nose-level with everyone’s arm pit. So, the Grateful Dead show I will sum up as a combination of Patchouli and B.O. While the Gay Pride Parade, to my surprise, was like a delightful, clean meadow of fresh-scrubbed, well groomed, gorgeous gay men. With all of these festivities going on all at once, the traffic is insane. So, how do you find yourself coping in traffic?
It’s always good to plan ahead. If you already have a route mapped out, GPS loaded and are not in a rush, even traffic can be a positive adventure (or maybe I was in the hot sun too long, eh?). It is said that most people get in a tizzy because they are running late, in a hurry or just simply impatient. Sometimes, even too rushed to signal before changing lanes. Some drivers say that signaling in rush hour traffic is a guarantee that no one will let you over. But, it’s also a leading cause for road rage. Like cutting in line without first asking permission. Road construction seems to be inevitable, nationwide. Lane reductions due to construction only add to the tension. And, yes, they are doing construction here in good old Illinois as they are in every other state. The difference here is, there is only a small window of time that they can actually work on the roads, since there are only two seasons, Winter and Spring. So, another good idea is to plan your route around construction. Especially with potholes (and they’re like craters here) that can damage your car. Unless it’s a rental, of course. Who cares about rentals?
Well, I need to get back to the festivities. Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
Coping in Traffic – Comedy Defensive Driving

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The Annoying Driver

Daun Thompson — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:03:03 +0000

My administrator always gives me a topic they want me to blog about for the week. Sometimes the topics aren’t quite colorful enough. But, finally, a topic that I could blog about until my little fingers go numb…The Annoying Driver.

Just this morning, I was driving home from jail (that’s another story…I’ll tell you about it later) and I got stuck behind Senor Slow doing about 45mph in the left lane of the freeway. I was in a big hurry to get home and wash the jail off of me (just kidding here…did you really think I went to jail??). Dude, the left lane’s for passing only. Yes, I know they only have signs posted on Interstates, but any high speed roadway, the left lane is only for passing other cars. And, I noticed that I wasn’t the only impatient driver on the road. Some people were passing him on the right, honking at him while flipping him off. In other words, they were multi-tasking. Today, I discovered that’s what the sunroof is for…flipping people off. And, if you can drive with your knees, you can flip someone off with both hands. Which gave me an idea. I’m going to buy a foam finger, cut the finger off and glue it to the middle and just wave it out the sunroof while I’m driving down the freeway. “I’m number one! Eat my dust!!”

Then, like everyone else, I too have a bit of trouble with rush hour traffic in this big city. I was letting someone merge onto the freeway from the entrance ramp. And the guy behind me honked at me as if to say “Don’t let him in.” Dude, just take a pill (they should put Prozac in the water system here). Although the ramp yields to the freeway traffic, it doesn’t hurt to let one car, per car enter the freeway off the ramp when traffic is at a stand still. They used to call it the “zipper.” I do realize that some people think they’re doing their good deed for the day and let half a dozen cars merge in at one time. Thinking they’re being a good samaritan. While the guy behind them is counting how many bullets he needs to put in the chamber of his gun. Yes, because everyone in Texas has a gun. When I moved here, everyone had gun racks in the back window of their truck on display. Then I moved to Napa Valley, where everyone had a wine rack in the back window of their vehicle.

There are a lot of annoying drivers out there. Tailgaters, road ragers, drivers with no common sense, nor common courtesy. Don’t you be labeled the annoying driver. Pay attention to your surroundings. Let people merge when they need to. And keep on taking your Prozac.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Idea Mogul

The Annoying Driver – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Trusting Other Drivers

Daun Thompson — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:35:37 +0000

Trusting Other Drivers

I don’t know about you, but I have trust issues. And I certainly don’t trust other drivers around me while they are texting, tailgating, road raging, etc. How comfortable do you feel telling the person driving you around that they should not be texting while driving? Especially when they have passengers in the car. What if that person is your new boss? Would it be a big faux pas to scold them? Perhaps the best measure would be to ask them to either wait until you’ve stopped, or to offer to text the message for them as they dictate. After all, isn’t that what they really hired you for in the first place? And, they’re supposed to be the boss, shouldn’t you be driving them instead? Ask them if you can drive while they text. Take some measures so you can begin trusting other drivers. And, if you just can’t help yourself, and you’re the “parent” type, you could bring up the fact that you have eight wonderful children (and perhaps even more that you don’t know about) who depend on you for food and shelter and what would happen to them if you were suddenly killed in a senseless accident all due to your driver’s bad texting habit?

Not only do you have to worry yourself about your own driver, you also have to be concerned with trusting other drivers around you. Especially the weaving and drifting kind. Drunk drivers, distracted drivers, inpatient drivers or even those pesky out of town drivers who don’t know where the heck they’re going in the first place. You know the kind that nearly miss their exit, so they cross three or four lanes of traffic so they don’t miss it. And, what are they even thinking, if they’re thinking at all? “I’m going to take this exit if it kills me…and kills everyone else in the way.” There are a lot of selfish drivers out there that take risks at others expense. And, with all of the new, hi-tech safety features in the car, maybe they think those safety features will save their life. That may explain why people take such crazy risks. The airbag alone could do some damage. It comes out as a controlled explosion. And, although it’s a better alternative than eating the steering wheel or hitting the windshield with your cranium, you could still come out of it with burns, a broken nose and that white powder all over your face. So, you may still be alive, but you’re hurting and now you look like a mime.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist / Mime

Trusting Other Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Lost and Lonely – Road Construction

Daun Thompson — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 17:54:34 +0000

Road Construction

What a mess it is now on our highways and roads. They are doing construction on all of the freeways and many residential streets in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. This, coupled with people locating here for jobs, makes it a real mess. I feel sorry for those newbies that don’t know their way around and don’t know the shortcuts. I see people just sitting in their cars on the freeway at 3 p.m., it’s like a giant parking lot. I would want those hours of my life back. I can see why people get irritated and rage out at one another because road construction brings life to a halt. The online mapping websites are not much help anymore, either. Heck, even one with decent directions will still have you do a u-turn in the middle of the freeway…and that’s a good one. GPS isn’t always helpful, either. Unless you have an i-phone and can download the latest information about lane closures and exit / entrance ramp closures, it’s sometimes useless. I teach a class where the students are told to be there on time or we won’t let them in. People show up late, all red in the face…some even in tears (mostly the women). I size them up and if they’re bigger than me, I let them in. I don’t want to get beat up by one of my own students.

The cool thing is, around here, they are widening the freeways. This is part of the efforts of our highway and road construction and they are lengthening the entrance and exit ramps in these areas. I had read something about 2-1/2 years ago that Texas is one of the only states in the nation that is doing this. The article said that Texas is taking some responsibility for how some of our highways and roads are “poorly designed.” Currently, the police are writing tickets for people entering and exiting the freeway too fast and for speeding on the access roads. The problem is, with the short ramp, most people have to get up to speed on the access road before they hit that short launching pad of a ramp to get up to the speed of traffic. And the flow of traffic is usually 80 mph in the right lane. There’s another problem…people doing 80 in the right lane and 45 in the left lane. Both make people nuts. And you will get a ticket for exceeding the speed limit on the access road. You cannot exceed the speed limit until you enter the ramp. So, good luck…until they lengthen the entrance ramps, you may want to go out and get yourself a crotch rocket motorcycle or a really fast car. Also, maybe if you didn’t do 80 in the slow lane, perhaps, karmatically, others will do it for you. And, upon exiting the freeway, people are exiting at freeway speed or higher. And, although the traffic on the access road must yield to a ramp (at least in Texas that is the law), most people don’t yield. And, if you’re coming off the freeway at 60, 70, 80 mph, you could hit that non-yielding moron right in the driver side door. At that high of a speed, they may not survive the impact. And you will get cited for exiting the freeway too fast. So, until they lengthen the exit ramps where they can, you may want to try to decelerate before exiting the ramp. Therefore, the people tailgating you will also naturally decelerate. Rather than locking ‘em up to get from 80 down to 35. So, good luck out there with all of the highway and road construction. You’ll need it. You may want to hang a lucky rabbits foot from your rearview mirror. I guess those one-legged rabbits out there aren’t so lucky…are they.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Artist / Writer / Benevolent Thesbo

Highway and Road Construction – Comedy Defensive Driving

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