slow drivers Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving®

A Crash Free Society

Daun Thompson — Mon, 17 Apr 2017 15:19:57 +0000

It is said that a high percentage of crashes are due to a driver’s attitude or behavior. So, could it be true that if we just stayed more focused and had better control of our emotions we would inevitably make better decisions and therefore nearly eliminate crashes, altogether? Could we actually become a crash free society. It would be interesting to start a “challenge” to see what effect this would have in reducing crashes, as well as a reduction in moving violations and even road rage.

Following these simple principles may help us to avoid that which we all dread.
• Always wear your seat belt and make sure others in the car are wearing theirs too.
• Scan the road ahead. And constantly scan around your car by checking your side mirrors and your rearview mirror every 3 to 7 seconds so you always know where your safe “out” is (drive like a bobble head). This is super important…but your MAIN FOCUS should always be scanning the road ahead of your intended path of travel. This will result in better reaction time and no surprises.
• Always try to keep a three second following distance between you and the car ahead. This will help reduce the chances of a rear-end collision. Once the car ahead of you passes a stationary object such as a tree, mile marker or a dead deer (if it gets up and walks away, you need to find something else), count 3 seconds before your car passes that same stationary object. Double this rule in wet weather and triple it in icy or snowy weather. Keep a good space around your car.
• Change lanes properly. Use your signal, that’s what it’s for. It’s also a moving violation if you don’t signal 100 feet before changing lanes or turning and a common cause of car crashes. Newer cars have a blinker feature that will automatically shut off after 3 to 6 blinks (so you no longer have to be the “eternal signaler” that forgot to shut the blinker off).
• Be aware of your speed and keep up with the flow of traffic. Not keeping up with the flow of traffic is the current leading cause for crashes. So, if everyone is speeding and you’re not keeping up with the flow of traffic, you could be impeding traffic (which can be more dangerous than speeding). Driving too slow causes more crashes, but the high-impact of speeding crashes cause more fatalities. In other words, “speed kills.”
• Be careful when backing out. In a parking lot, you must yield to moving vehicles.
• Keep a good, clear view. Make sure you have plenty of wiper fluid, that the wipers work and your windshield is clean. If you can’t see well at night, if it’s that foggy, just get off the road and wait.
• Stay calm and alert and don’t be distracted.
• Watch out for blind spots and those in your blind spots (and you in theirs). Motorcyclists and bicyclists are especially vulnerable to blind spots.
• Adjust your seat and steering wheel to suit you.

And, for Pete’s sake, always be prepared to yield the right of way. Try to be a courteous driver. Let people over when they signal and they will probably do the same. It’s only going to create good Karma.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

A Crash Free Society – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Slow Drivers

Daun Thompson — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 04:09:21 +0000

Although I have never had anyone in my Comedy Defensive Driving School class for driving to slow (and unlimited students in there for driving too fast), slow drivers cause more car crashes than speeders. In my city, I have noticed that “minimum speed” signs are not present on the highways here. I am told by students who live in rural areas that, when you get outside of the city, there are still some signs posted for minimum speed limit and maximum speed limit.

Since driving “not with the flow of traffic” or under the flow of traffic has been proven to not only impede traffic which often times cause crashes, one should always keep to the right, unless you are passing. The left lane is not a “fast” lane, it is a passing lane, and should only be used for passing other cars. Impeding the flow of traffic by continuing to drive in the left lane is punishable by a fine up to $200 (not to mention the angry snarls you will get from other drivers).

In 1997 the Texas Legislature passed a law requiring that all “Slower Traffic Keep Right” signs be phased out in favor of wording that states, “Left Lane for Passing Only.” I believe all interstates display these signs. But, even if not posted on any high speed roadway, the left lane should always be left open for passing cars to maintain a smooth flow of traffic. When slow drivers linger in the left lane of a multiple lane road, you may be forced to pass on the right, causing confusion and disorganization that can lead to accidents. Cars on entrance ramps will then have to get up to speed with someone doing a higher speed in the slow lane. And we all are aware that some ramps are ridiculously short (I like to call those natural selection ramps). You may also be forced to stop suddenly, which can start a chain reaction of braking that could lead to accidents or road rage. Your trip to work may become a scene straight out of Final Destination.

So, I am curious, do some people just not know this? Or do they just not care? And who, pray tell are these naive, uncaring people? Well, apparently they’re sometimes just overly cautious drivers, such as visitors, drivers who have recently relocated to the area, new drivers and senior drivers (which is what I am about to become, so I no longer make fun of senior drivers). But, we all know that a majority of these left lane lovers are simply distracted drivers. You know, because when you pass them on the right, after riding behind them for 10 minutes, just hoping they will get over, you can clearly see that they are talking on the phone. They’d better be calling for an ambulance, eh?

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Slow Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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What is one of the leading causes for traffic accents?

Daun Thompson — Wed, 05 Oct 2016 00:16:42 +0000

When asked “What is one of the leading causes for traffic accents?” Some people say inexperienced drivers while nearly all say elderly drivers. Age alone should not be the reason to stop driving. Loss of driving ability has been associated with depression and worsening physical impairments in older people. Losing one’s “independence” often creates a downward spiral. Since driving is a part of everyday life, how will they get themselves to church, to the store or to visit friends? Socializing should not be halted. After all, what else is there for them to do, now that they don’t have to punch a time clock. You can only watch so many episodes of Golden Girls before you wish you were dead.
Honestly, unless someone lives in a metropolitan area with easy access to public transportation, how else will they get around? And, even so, if one is disoriented, getting off at the wrong bus stop can be a frightening and traumatic experience. Vision problems interfere with a person’s ability to see the road and avoid objects and other vehicles. Hearing problems, the effect of a stroke and even arthritis can impair a person’s ability to perform the mechanics of driving. So why not look into improving the elderly driver’s physical abilities? If they can’t react as fast and/or have trouble seeing, perhaps cataracts are to blame. A good eye doctor can evaluate this issue and repair it. It’s probably not a bad idea to get them in for a new prescription and new frames, although the frames they’ve been wearing since the 70’s are probably coming back in style now. Physical therapy or even a good personal trainer at a nearby gym will strengthen arms, hands and legs which will aid in quicker reaction time and braking strength. Doing Yoga helps with balance and coordination. Maybe even staying off of the high speed highways and sticking to slower roads is a good start. Getting medications evaluated by their physician and having dosages adjusted if needed may help. The NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) states that more than 85% of Americans 65 and older continue to drive. But vulnerability and risk rise with age. For drivers 85 and up, the fatality rate is nine times higher than for drivers between the ages of 25 and 69. Because of osteoporosis, fragile bones are more likely to fracture in a collision. And seniors are more susceptible to aortic rupture with chest trauma from a steering wheel or air bag, according to the Clinician’s Guide for Seniors.
It’s probably a good idea to have their physician bring it up to them if you are concerned that they should no longer be driving. Perhaps each time they go in for a visit, urge the doctor to ask questions about how their driving is going. When it’s time for them to hand in the keys, the subject will have already been broached and the doctor can restrict their patient’s driving privileges and you won’t have to be the bad guy.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

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Slow Drivers of Illinois

Daun Thompson — Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:13:55 +0000

Today, I woke up in a small town in Illinois. I haven’t lived here in over 36 years. And, while I’m used to the hustle and bustle of big city life, it’s a nice change of pace in a small town. No worries, no rushing, no honking or yelling (and we’re talking before you even leave the house). Yesterday, we drove to a nearby town to do some shopping. We took the back roads with all of the other slow drivers. Not because it was quicker or to avoid road construction, but because the highway route just wasn’t scenic enough. I remember the day I moved away. My parents, standing in the driveway, waving goodbye as if they were never going to see me again (probably hoping so). I moved nearly 1,000 miles away from my familiar small town. And never moved back. When my daughter was 17, I believe it was in April, and she was ripping everything off of her bedroom walls and throwing it all in a storage bin. I asked “What are you doing?” She said “I’m packing up.” Me, “Why? Where are you going?” Her, “I’m moving out.” Me, “When?” Her, “I don’t know. Maybe November.” I said “But it’s April! Are you trying to break my heart?” Then I went into another room, phoned my 78 year old parents and apologized to them for being insensitive when I was 17. My mother’s response was “I’ve been waiting by the telephone for 35 years!”

I taught my daughter how to drive. And, I must tell you, my daughter is a slow driver. At least she is when I am in the car with her. And, because she drives the speed limit, people pass her on the right. And they honk at her and flip her off (with me in the car!). Hey! That’s my kid you’re flipping off! I learned that’s what the sun roof is for … flipping people off. And, if you can drive with your knees, you can apparently flip people off with both hands. People are talented, aren’t they? They should put Prozac in the water system. So, my daughter would fit in well here. Or, in Colorado, for that matter. Since they’ve legalized marijuana, I bet there are a lot less speeders now. And more job openings in the snack industry.

But here are the hard, sad facts. Slow drivers cause more accidents than speeders. Not keeping up with the flow of traffic (just like not keeping up with the Kardashians) is actually more dangerous than speeding. But, the impact from those high speed crashes actually cause more fatalities than low-impact crashes. Have you ever heard the term “Speed Kills?” I wish I’d made up that phrase. I’d totally put it on a bumper sticker and collect royalties. And I would put one on my own bumper. Right alongside my other bumper sticker that says “Tailgating Kills.”

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Slow Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving School

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Driving Under The Influence

Daun Thompson — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:04:23 +0000

Well, I guess I was wrong about marijuana being safer than alcohol when driving under the influence. I had assumed that after legalizing it in Colorado, there would be a lot less speeders and more slow drivers. I had also assumed that instead of people naming their kids hippie names like Sage and Sky, the name Mary Jane would make a big resurgence (quoting Stanley Rose of Colorado Springs). And only now am I beginning to appreciate the true meaning of the John Denver song, Rocky Mountain High.

In fact, fatal car crashes involving marijuana use have tripled. Drugged driving accounted for more than 28 percent of traffic deaths in 2010, which is 16 percent more than it was in 1999. And the researchers found that marijuana was the main drug involved in the increase. It contributed to 12 percent of the fatal crashes, compared to only 4 percent in 1999. A study conducted at Dalhousie University in Canada concluded that “cannabis impairs performance of the cognitive and motor tasks necessary for safe driving, increasing the risk of collision.” Currently, there is not a test for marijuana that is as accurate as the Breathalyzer is for alcohol. Surely, a test is in the works and will be available for lawful use soon.

So, what to do? It is against the law to drink and drive, so perhaps we should follow that same rule while under the influence of pot. That’s what the transit system is for, anyway. It’s for people who don’t or can’t drive. Taking a cab to run errands, as opposed to spending years in prison for manslaughter sounds like a much better option. You can also do what is called a Mile High Tour, where you are whisked away with 9 other people in a limo to a dispensary, then out to a nice dinner and back to your car. It includes munchies, eye drops and paraphernalia (the name Paraphernalia also sounds like a choice name for your offspring).

Speaking of offspring, when comparing alcohol with marijuana use, more babies are said to have been conceived under the influence of alcohol. While less babies are conceived when under the influence of pot (lower sperm count). Less Twinkies are consumed while under the influence of alcohol, while it is said that one human being who is under the influence of pot can eat 3 boxes of Twinkies in under 20 minutes.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Artist / Benevolent Thesbo

Driving Under The Influence – Comedy Defensive Driving
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The Annoying Driver

Daun Thompson — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:03:03 +0000

My administrator always gives me a topic they want me to blog about for the week. Sometimes the topics aren’t quite colorful enough. But, finally, a topic that I could blog about until my little fingers go numb…The Annoying Driver.

Just this morning, I was driving home from jail (that’s another story…I’ll tell you about it later) and I got stuck behind Senor Slow doing about 45mph in the left lane of the freeway. I was in a big hurry to get home and wash the jail off of me (just kidding here…did you really think I went to jail??). Dude, the left lane’s for passing only. Yes, I know they only have signs posted on Interstates, but any high speed roadway, the left lane is only for passing other cars. And, I noticed that I wasn’t the only impatient driver on the road. Some people were passing him on the right, honking at him while flipping him off. In other words, they were multi-tasking. Today, I discovered that’s what the sunroof is for…flipping people off. And, if you can drive with your knees, you can flip someone off with both hands. Which gave me an idea. I’m going to buy a foam finger, cut the finger off and glue it to the middle and just wave it out the sunroof while I’m driving down the freeway. “I’m number one! Eat my dust!!”

Then, like everyone else, I too have a bit of trouble with rush hour traffic in this big city. I was letting someone merge onto the freeway from the entrance ramp. And the guy behind me honked at me as if to say “Don’t let him in.” Dude, just take a pill (they should put Prozac in the water system here). Although the ramp yields to the freeway traffic, it doesn’t hurt to let one car, per car enter the freeway off the ramp when traffic is at a stand still. They used to call it the “zipper.” I do realize that some people think they’re doing their good deed for the day and let half a dozen cars merge in at one time. Thinking they’re being a good samaritan. While the guy behind them is counting how many bullets he needs to put in the chamber of his gun. Yes, because everyone in Texas has a gun. When I moved here, everyone had gun racks in the back window of their truck on display. Then I moved to Napa Valley, where everyone had a wine rack in the back window of their vehicle.

There are a lot of annoying drivers out there. Tailgaters, road ragers, drivers with no common sense, nor common courtesy. Don’t you be labeled the annoying driver. Pay attention to your surroundings. Let people merge when they need to. And keep on taking your Prozac.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Idea Mogul

The Annoying Driver – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Slow down, Rookie! There’s still defensive driving

Lisa — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 15:29:17 +0000

OK this is more of a confession than a blog. Today I was a very bad driver. I need to be spanked…alright, enough of my weird fetishes. I was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic on the freeway like a running back dodging the Dallas Cowboys defense (which would be pretty easy to do.) I was in a hurry to teach a defensive driving class. I know, “isn’t it ironic?” I was running late and my natural reaction was to speed, right? Isn’t that what you do when you are running late? Now I’m not trying to rationalize what I did but at least I wasn’t talking on the cell phone and I used my blinkers when I was cutting people off.

Speeding is a major cause of motor vehicle collisions in the United States, I’m sure you already knew that. But, did you know that most crashes occur as a direct result of people driving too slow? Yes, you slow, Sunday drivers need to get the hell out of the way! I’m not suggesting you speed up to 90mph! You speed demons need to slow down to a reasonable speed, like the speed limit or maybe 5 over, only highly trained drivers like race car drivers and defensive driving instructors can handle the situation with precision driving techniques and acute awareness to the decision making skills needed to pull this off! It’s not the speed that is dangerous, it’s the things that get in your way that causes the danger, like other cars, animals, pedestrians and trees that seems to jump onto the road out of nowhere! Drivers who drive too slow on a highway entrance ramp or driving too slow in the left lane are the cause of major traffic jams due to crashes, which in turn cost you in fuel economy, when you are sitting idle in gridlock.

Last year in the U.S. 33,808 people were killed in crashes and over 2.2 million people injured. Hey, slow down a little bit, don’t be in such a hurry, it’s better to be late than to be dead, right?! Now I need to take my own advice and be a better driver by slowing down and not eating Burger King while driving. Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

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