The holiday season is upon us, and in our rush to get from place to place there’s a good chance you’ve picked up a speeding ticket. If you have recently been ticketed in the state of Texas, Florida, or New Jersey, the good news is that we can help get your speeding ticket dismissed.

Speeding violations can cost a small fortune, putting a real damper on the season’s festivities. Driving above the speed limit near a school or construction zone could be the reason for the excessively high fine you’ve been given, with speeding in areas such as these carrying a maximum fine of $1000 in Florida.

Speeding in New Jersey starts out costing $85, but quickly escalates depending on how fast you were driving. There’s also a $34 fee for challenging your speeding ticket in court. In Texas, you get either two or three points on your license. Again, depending on how fast you were going. If you get six or more points on your license within three years, you will pay a surcharge. The costs never really go away once you start to accumulate points on your license.

What if you could wipe the slate clean and get that speeding ticket dismissed?

Comedy Defensive Driving To The Rescue

If you’re looking to get that holiday speeding ticket dismissed, you can request permission from the courts to take a defensive driving course. What a wonderful way to start the new year, by wiping the slate clean!

With Comedy Defensive Driving, the only speeding you’ll be doing is through our coursework! Simply submit a copy of your driving record to the court and ask to enroll with us. This will not only reduce the amount that you are liable to pay, it will demonstrate to the judge that you are a responsible, law-abiding citizen.

Unfortunately, you can only take our course – or any defensive driving course for that matter – only once a year. You’re also excluded if you have a commercial driver’s license or happen to be taking another defensive driving course elsewhere at the same time. We don’t make the rules, but we do play by them.

Next up is learning the rules of the road. Or at least, refreshing your memory. Comedy Defensive Driving will get you back into the festive spirit in no time by allowing you to have a laugh while learning to drive defensively. Squashing those nasty points on your license is a bonus. 

You can study online, on a device of your choosing, at your own pace. Don’t go too fast, however, or you won’t get the 80% required to pass. No sweat though, you get three attempts.  

Comedy Defensive Driving adds a dash of good old lighthearted humor to our course material, so you get to laugh as you learn. That’s what makes us the best in the business – our clients pass with flying colors and go on to drive better, defensively. Let’s get your speeding ticket dismissed and head into the new year with a fresh start. This way, there’s still money left in your wallet to enjoy the holiday season without having to worry about speeding tickets. 

The post Speeding Ticket For The Holidays? – Let’s Get That Dismissed appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

MAXIMUM SPEED LIMIT

Keeping up with the flow of traffic, even if everyone is speeding, is the absolutely proven to be safest. But, as police say, the sign posts the “limit” and if you go over the limit, you could get a speeding ticket. And proving why you were going 40mph in a 20mph school zone will be close to impossible. But, come on, driving 20mph feels like you’re crawling. And, heaven forbid the guy in front of you is driving like a nervous chihuahua and not even doing 20!

MINIMUM SPEED LIMIT

Minimum speeding limits are typically posted on higher speed roadways and freeways. Not keeping up with the flow of traffic, or driving too slow definitely causes more car accidents. But, it is said that the high-impact from speeding crashes cause more traffic fatalities. And that’s why police still write so many speeding tickets. They should absolutely be writing them for driving too slow, as well.

For more information about why speed limits are set and a list of speed zone studies, check with your state’s department of transportation. If you live and drive in the great state of Texas, go to https://www.txdot.gov/driver/laws/speed-limits/studies.html.

Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

WHY WE HAVE SPEED LIMITS – Comedy Defensive Driving

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I am told that women don’t take driving as seriously as men. So here’s a good argument to chew on, what about the female racing drivers of NASCAR? There are entirely too many of them to mention here, but how about Danica Patrick, Susie Stoddart and Deborah Parker. Oh, and let’s not forget about the Force sisters, Ashley and Courtney. Ashley Force is the first woman to ever win an NHRA event title in the funny car listing. A Force to be reckoned with (pun intended)…heck, she even beat her own father, John, in that very race. And he’s a 14-time Powerade Champion. I don’t even know what that means. I’m just an ordinary girl and an ordinary driver. And I don’t even like to drive. Some people love road trips, while I love planes and taxis. My parents will get in the car and drive from Chicago to Florida in one day. And they enjoy the trip every time. Not me. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

What I have read about male v.s. women drivers is basically that, while women drivers do get their fair share of speeding tickets, the male drivers usually get ticketed at a higher speed. Men are considered more attentive and focused while driving than women drivers. Unless, of course, there is a girl within viewing range, then that theory goes right out the window.

I know a few women who are the drivers in their relationships. Like my parents’ neighbors. The husband lost his license when he got a DWI, so his wife has to drive him everywhere. She said he always complained that she drives him to drink…and now she has to. So, maybe she’s not only the driver in their relationship, but the designated driver as well.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist

Women Drivers – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post A Force To Be Reckoned With – Women Drivers appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Things have changed since back in the day when officers would ask you the typical “License and registration, please.” And I learned a long time ago, not to ask him to hold your beer for you while you get it out of your glove box. Do they even call it a glove box anymore? It’s more like a beer cooler now, isn’t it?? Or maybe it’s a gun locker for some. That’s why they don’t want you reaching into your glove box when you get pulled over. They are trained to get real squirrelly when you do stuff like that. So, what to do when you get pulled over by the police? The first thing you need to do so you don’t get a second ticket is to put on your turn signal. Move as far to the right as possible and as quickly as possible. This is for two reasons, so you are as close to the point of the alleged violation as possible and so the officer doesn’t think you are trying to flee. Roll all of your windows down enough where the officer can see into the car. This way, they can see that there are no hidden threats. If it is evening, turn on your interior lights. And don’t forget to cut the engine. Do not get out of your car unless they instruct you to do so. Put both hands on the steering wheel, hands open so they can see that you are not concealing anything in a closed fist. Wait until they ask you for your drivers license before you reach for your purse or your wallet. The officer may scan your registration sticker from inside the car, so he/she may reach inside to do so. They may ask you for your current liability insurance card or they may not if they have already ran a search for that while they were tailing you. So, generally they already know if you have current coverage or not. If they ask you for your insurance card, they may be comparing the address on that with your drivers license address. If they differ, he/she will ask you which address is correct. Because you have only an allotted time to make an address change on your drivers license, you may be issued another ticket for that. Remember, no sudden moves. If you are nervous, try to remain calm and don’t panic. After all, it’s only a routine traffic stop…not the end of the world.

So, if you don’t want to even risk being pulled over by the police, follow these simple rules:
• Don’t speed.
• Don’t talk on the phone or text while driving.
• Do stop at stop signs (for 3 seconds).
• Do stop at a red light before turning right on red (for 3 seconds).
• Don’t do illegal U-turns, even if you don’t see a squad car.
• Do make sure all lights work, brake lights, tail lights and license plate light(s).
• Do keep your registration, insurance and inspections all up to date.
• Don’t tailgate.
• Don’t cut someone off (or make an improper lane change).
• Don’t hang out in the left lane, it’s for passing only.
• Don’t drive too slow for the flow of traffic.
• Don’t squeal your tires.

And, for Pete’s sake, don’t argue with the cop…especially a lady cop…it ain’t gonna work.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Comedienne / Writer / Artist

What To Do – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Pulled Over By The Police – What To Do appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

In my class, I hear people talking about living in the suburbs, feeling safe in their town because it’s very well patrolled. Police are very visible. Making these people feel safe living there…until they get a ticket from one of those police, then they’re all “Those darned cops…why don’t they pick on real criminals?”

A majority of my students attend the class because of a speeding ticket. That’s pretty common. Most young boys in my class are in there for high speeds over the limit. Putting the pedal to the metal to see how fast their car really goes, to see if the speedometer, past that certain point, is real or fake. I mean, you gotta try it…at least once! In Texas, if you are speeding 25mph or higher over the speed limit, you may not be able to take a defensive driving class, and the ticket may go directly on your driving record. For a young man, their insurance is already high enough. And I have found that most police officers, especially male officers, because they, too, did the exact same scenario when they were young, and know too well how high a young male’s insurance is, will empathize with them by writing the ticket for a lower speed over the limit. This way, they are able to attend a class, and the ticket therefore will not go on their driving record. And their already high insurance rate won’t increase. Now, that’s nice. I don’t care what you say. Of course, giving a warning would be nicer…this is true.

I warn my students that the police are really stepping up in regards to writing tickets for low speeds over the limit, not signaling, changing lanes within an intersection, just grazing the solid double white line, speeding on the access road to get a good running start when entering the freeway and exiting the freeway above the exit ramp speed limit. To name a few. Police are only human. And, like most humans, some are kind and some are cranky. It’s just human nature. Being a traffic cop is a job that I certainly would not want. Pulling people over all day long. Getting the sour puss. No one would ever be glad to see you. “I’m so glad you pulled me over…I needed somebody to talk to.” Some of those police probably leave for work in a fairly good mood and by the end of their shift, they’re over it. The disrespect and bitterness they must endure, plus putting their lives on the line, I would rather be a bill collector. At least you don’t have to look at those people.

And, in my experience, all the police really want from you is the truth. If you’re honest with them, that’s all they want…that, and you following the traffic laws so you don’t put yours or anyone else’s life in danger. And, I bet they’ve heard it all. All kinds of elaborate stories. So don’t try to pull any b.s. on them. They can smell b.s. a mile away (and they probably use laser to detect it).

Until next week…be nice. Everybody’s just doing their job.

Daun Thompson

( Daun Thompson is a comedienne, writer and artist residing in Dallas, Texas )

The post THE WHOLE TRUTH…AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Back in 1989, Comedy Defensive Driving School set out to merge stand up comedy and driving safety all under one spotlight.The concept was already being done in California but we are the original “Comedy Defensive Driving” in Texas.The goal of CDDS is to save lives on our roads but we also go a step further and help CHANGE people’s lives!And with that mantra, the owners of our company thought it would be a cool idea to get the best comedians who tell a whole variety of jokes on stage to teach people how to be safer drivers.

Our instructors give that extra flare and fun that you just won’t get with an on-line class.Only a stand-up comedian from the school of hard knocks on these hell-gig one nighters in places like Gun Barrel City, Texas can make six hours fly by with laughter and learning something new at the same time.Going to a classroom for defensive driving and meeting other speed demons like you is the best way to take care of your traffic ticket, besides the way most of you procrastinate you would never get through 6 hours on the computer anyway!

If you attend a CDDS class you will be entertained with our human touch factor!

Join me again next week and until then…

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

The post The Human Touch – Defensive Driving in The Classroom appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

You know the song;

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

With drunk Uncle Ned

And Cousin Ed coming out of the closet

And saying he’s queer! It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!”

Yes, the holidays are here and with that comes the TURKEY, YEAH!!!! I love holiday meals that someone else took the time to cook and I get to reap the rewards! But remember boys and girls, turkey contains an essential amino acid called L-tryptophan that can cause drowsiness more than listening to Uncle Rick’s boring fishing stories. But truth be told, some nerdy scientific experts say that tryptophan would have to be ingested on an empty stomach and with no other amino acids in order to make you sleepy. It’s actually the fat contents of Grandma’s cooking, alcohol and over-eating which makes your fat ass tired.

But this isn’t a lecture on nutritional contents and dysfunctional families; this blog is to inform you on the dangers of fatigue driving in America. Did you know, according to the National Sleep Foundation, over 100,000 auto accidents are the result of fatigued driving in the U.S. every year? I don’t know what’s more surprising, that alarming fact or the fact that “sleep” has its own foundation! Some states such as Texas, New Jersey and Florida have included fatigue driving under their DUI laws. Driving safety experts say that a drowsy driver is just as dangerous as a drunk driver.

Now I can understand if you are ready to get the hell of out of your parent’s house after the holiday meal, because you are reminded of why you wanted to move out in the first place. But make sure you are mentally alert for the drive back to your home, hotel or nearest bar. Besides, after the family get-together, I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about on the way home with your other passengers.

I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season. Remember to have a designated driver when drinking alcohol and don’t drive under the influence of fatigue!

Join me again next week and until then…

Take Care and Be Safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Thanksgiving for speeding tickets appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

 The family mini-van has the stick figures of the whole family and if there is a guy driving that mini-van his balls are probably in a holder around the rearview mirror. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the family.

The single guy has a diver flag sticker on his Jeep to impress the chicks, even though he might not know how to swim.

One time I saw a sticker that said “Honk if you love Jesus” so I honked and the lady in the other car shot me the finger! That wasn’t supposed to happen!

And check this out, they also have “WI-FI detection” bumper stickers! You put it on your window and it lets you know when you have a Wi-Fi signal. I would think it would work better on your dash but hey, you’re trying to look cool so put it on your back window so everyone can see it.

But one thing I also noticed when noticing all these bumper stickers is that I wasn’t paying attention to the road! Bumper stickers are major distractions for drivers across the country. According to the California Department of Motor Vehicles, 80 % of crashes and 65% of near-crashes are caused by some form of driver distractions and yes that includes drivers trying to read bumper stickers! One of my favorites is, “If you can read this, you are too close” and next thing you know, BAM, you hit the person in front of you! If you must share a clever extract make sure it only contains a short sentence like “Obey Gravity, It’s the Law.” Anything more than one sentence can be a distraction, besides who would remember all that anyway?

If you have any comments or suggestions, please send them in. Join me again next week and until then…

Take Care and Be Safe-

Danny Keaton

The post Bumper stickers, they are everywhere! appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

“Obey the law” he says. “Stop immediately” and “stay in your car with your hands on the wheel.” Finally, “if your woman is mad at you, leave her at home. There’s nothing she’d like to see more than you getting your [you-know-what] kicked.”

It’s a dead-on spoof of a hard truth: Respect authority. If you don’t, you increase the odds of a pricey ticket.

“Everything in that video is absolutely true,” said Sgt. Matthew Koep of the South Plainfield, N.J., Police Department. “It’s funny, but it’s accurate.”

Citizens who are generally law-abiding are likely to come into contact with the police only under two circumstances: If you’re a crime victim or you get pulled over for a traffic violation.

Police officers are not out to make your life miserable, but to make sure you’re following the rules of the road and not endangering yourself or those around you.

With a few exceptions, and an egregious traffic violation is top among them, cops aren’t mandated to write tickets. Most would rather send you on your way with a friendly warning — that can save you time and money.

But handle the situation with an aggressive or arrogant attitude and you can expect to squeeze an expensive court date into your busy schedule.

Play Nice

First rule: don’t argue.

“I get this all the time,” said Karen Rittorno, a nine-year veteran with the Chicago Police Department. “‘What are you stopping me for? I didn’t do nothing.’ If they try to take charge of the traffic stop, they’re not going to get out of it without a ticket,” she said. “We ask the questions, not them.”

Accept that the police have caught you doing something that’s against the law, such as speeding or gliding through a stop sign.

“All we do is react to what people do when you pull them over,” said Dennis Fanning, a homicide detective and veteran officer with the Los Angeles Police Department. “We don’t instigate the stuff, but we will react to you. The situation will escalate or de-escalate depending on how that person reacts.”

To argue with cops is akin to calling them idiots. Don’t do that. “That’s implying that I pulled you over for no reason and that bothers me,” Koep said.

Keep It Honest

Don’t lie, either. Cops are trained to note the human characteristics of lying, including twitching and looking to the left, and they know the right questions to ask to suss out the truth.

Fanning estimates that nine out of 10 people lie to him. “It’s an attack on our intelligence,” he said.

Moreover, the truth can set you free. Koep recalled an incident when he pulled a young guy over for speeding.

“He looks straight at me and says, ‘You know, officer, I wasn’t even paying attention. I just had the best date of my life. I just met my future bride. I’m just on cloud nine right now.’

“The guy was completely serious,” Koep said. “How are you going to write that guy up after that? Who makes that kind of stuff up?”

Of course, don’t use pejoratives when addressing the police, unless you’re eager for a ticket. But other words may backfire, too. Rittorno works in a crime-ridden section of Chicago where the majority of people she pulls over for traffic violations don’t have licenses or insurance, she said.

“So I get a lot of, ‘I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it, sweetheart,'” she said. “I hate being called ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart.’ I’m ‘officer’ to you.”

The police don’t like being talked over, either. “Be polite,” said Chicago Officer Mike Thomas. “You have your rights as a citizen, too, but it doesn’t do you any good to talk while he’s talking.”

Cops know that people are nervous when they get pulled over, and they expect a certain amount of jumpiness when they approach a car. Rittorno even admitted she’s intimidated in the same situation. “I’m the police and I get scared if I get pulled over,” she said.

But did you know they’re on edge, too? You know who they are, but they don’t know whether you’re a good guy or a bad guy. “The only thing on his mind when he approaches you is safety,” Thomas said. “You know you don’t have a gun in your lap, but the officer doesn’t know it.”

Rittorno, for one, said she assumes everyone has a gun. “I’m always on 10,” she said, referring to her high level of vigilance. “I take it down depending on their demeanor or what I see.”

Stay Calm

When those headlights go on, it’s best to pull the car to the right, stay in the car, turn the interior lights on if it’s dark and put your hands on the steering wheel.

Don’t make any quick movements, and don’t turn to grab your purse or put your hands in your pocket or under your seat to retrieve your license — until the officer instructs you to. Then, do it slowly.

Don’t move to open the glove box either, until directed. And do that slowly, too. Let the police shine a light inside the box before you reach in. Many criminals hide guns in glove boxes.

“What’s going to cause the situation to get worse is for the fear factor to rise in that officer,” Koep said. “The officer is more likely to cut you a break as long as you can reduce that fear. …If you’re friendly with me, not arguing or denying what happened, that lowers the fear factor and will make me a lot more cooperative with you.”

Don’t boast about who you know, either. That can infuriate cops. They consider it a veiled threat to their livelihoods. Fortunately, most municipalities have laws in place to insure that an officer is not fired or reprimanded for ticketing, say, the mayor’s daughter.

Finally, never try to buy off a cop. “In those instances where they’ve offered me a bribe,” Fanning said. “I loved making those arrests.”

________

Thanks to Jennifer Waters and Yahoo for this great article!

Jennifer Waters is a MarketWatch reporter, based in Chicago.

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