texas defensive driving Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving®

CRAZY TRAFFIC

Daun Thompson — Tue, 17 May 2016 15:40:02 +0000

I was just telling someone that most of my Texas friends had moved to L.A. for their comedy careers back in the early 1990’s, but I moved to San Francisco because I don’t like crazy traffic (plus, even living in S.F., I still got to work with Mitch Hedberg (sniff), Marc Maron, Brian Posehn, Johnny Steele, Michael Mancini, and many other amazing, accomplished comedians). And, as we all know, L.A. is notorious for their traffic jams. With few access roads in L.A., if there is an accident on any freeway, traffic will be backed up for miles. While here in Texas, traffic moves off the freeway, onto the access road and gets back onto the freeway, ahead of the wreck…brilliant! Being stuck in traffic on the way to a gig kinda brings the funny down a notch. Even in S.F., I had been late for gigs because of nutty traffic. Totally uncool.

So, this conversation made me curious as to what cities in the U.S. are currently the worst for crazy traffic. According to data compiled by INRX Driving Intelligence, these are the top 10 cities for the worst traffic in the U.s.
1. Los Angeles, CA (yep! go figure!)
2. Washington, D.C.
3. San Francisco, CA (really?? like, just paying a cover charge to enter the city isn’t bad enough)
4. Houston, TX (a miniature version of NYC)
5. New York City, NY (all cabs…no one I know who lives there owns a car)
6. Seattle, WA (I show a road rage film in my defensive driving class, shot “no pun int” in Seattle)
7. Boston, MA
8. Chicago, IL (I grew up outside of Chi-Town and not surprised it’s on the list)
9. Atlanta, Georgia
10. Honolulu, Hawaii (small islands, few road options, not surprised)

I’m living in Dallas now and surprised that we’re not on the list. Perhaps we’re number 11. Anyhow, all of this driving yourself to work and gigs nonsense will be totally obsolete in a few years now that cars are designed to drive themselves. One day in the near future, kids in my defensive driving class will have their grandkids asking them “Grandpa (because they’re mostly boys in my classes…lol), what’s Defensive Driving School?” And they’ll answer “It was just a crazy waste of time. We used to have to actually operate a motor vehicle. We had to be responsible to pay for oil and gasoline and to be sure not to kill anyone. Oh, and the petroleum came from dinosaurs. Which is ironic, since cars are now made out of plastic, a petroleum product, made from dinosaurs.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist
(come catch Daun make funnies in June: Lake Buena Vista, FL and Sarasota, FL)

CRAZY TRAFFIC – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post CRAZY TRAFFIC appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

The Evolving Automobile

Daun Thompson — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 14:59:15 +0000

To quote Bob Dylan, “The Times, They Are a-Changin’.” When I moved to Texas in 1979, most pick-up trucks had a gun rack mounted in the back window, with a rifle on display for all to see. And everyone in the car/truck could have an open container, even the driver. Of course, the rifle couldn’t be loaded. But the driver could be. Where’s the logic in that? When I moved to northern California in 1990, pick-up trucks had a wine rack in the back window. Not really, but have you ever been on a wine tour in Napa Valley? You know, you’re only supposed to taste the wine, not drink it. I have never seen a car in the ditch on a wine tour. I’m not disappointed, but I am surprised. We, as a race, are ever-evolving (thank God). And, with this forward thinking, we are constantly redesigning the safety features in the evolving automobile.
My first car with a cell phone (that was about the size of a shoe) was a 1989 Volvo. A hideous tank of a car, with a yuppie mom luggage rack. It was also my first car with anti-lock brakes. It also had a sun-roof that would constantly leak, so I put duct tape around it. It was silver, so it matched the car. But I’d always get pulled over in Highland Park (a hoity toity part of Dallas), because they knew I didn’t live there, with the duct tape and all. A phone in the car? I felt like a rock star. Before cell phones, I remember when you had to wait until you got home from work to see who was trying to get a hold of you. We also had rotary dial phones then. If you were being stabbed to death, and you had to call for help, you had to dial 9-1-1. Your other option would be to call the operator, “0”. Now, zero was the last number on the dial and, coincidentally, the last number you’d want to dial if you were bleeding to death. I bet a lot of people didn’t make it to the hospital. How far we’ve come since then. And Bob is right about the times changing.
Not too many years from now, all cars will be driving themselves. It will be just like the cartoon show The Jetsons. All bosses’ names will be Mr. Spacely and (please God) please let all homes be on poles so we have no yards. I want all of those hours of my life back, mowing and edging and raking leaves! We’ll even be able to push a button and dinner is ready. Wait! We already do…it’s called a microwave!
Maybe it’s time to look into purchasing another Volvo, since they recently published a statement that no one will be seriously injured or killed in a Volvo by the year 2020. Maybe I should wait until 2020 to purchase one, since it will likely be driving itself by then as well.
Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

The Evolving Automobile – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post The Evolving Automobile appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Respect Everyone’s Journey

Daun Thompson — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 04:49:18 +0000

Paying attention while driving is the key to staying out of trouble. Not only trouble with law enforcement, but prevention of accidents as well. Being a courteous driver is also the key to being a safe driver. Not taking risks, not following too close and always leaving yourself a safe “out” in any traffic situation will also help to keep you out of danger and therefore make you a better driver. So, respect everyone’s journey.

Never whip in front of a semi-truck. It takes a truck 10 times longer to stop than it takes a car to stop. If you think that truck driver is leaving a huge space between them and the car ahead of them is for you, you’re dead wrong. Your Honda Accord could become a Honda accordion. And we all know, not everyone likes an accordion. Do you like Banda music? Really?? Come on!

Checking your mirrors and constantly scanning around the car so you always know where there is a safe place to steer into, should someone drift into your lane may save you a lot of grief. Many people experience an accident due to faulty evasive action. If a car does drift into your lane and you swerve into another lane to avoid a crash, but you crash into someone in that lane in the process, now it’s your fault.

Signaling before you turn or change lanes, lets other drivers around you know your intentions. Getting back into the habit of signaling will not only keep you safe but will also help to avoid road rage.

At a traffic light, remember that green doesn’t mean “go.” Green means look both ways and make sure someone is not running the red light. If there are other cars in lanes next to you, blocking your view, let them go first. If they don’t go when the light turns green, it’s likely because they can see (and you cannot, because they are blocking your view) that a car is running the red light.

Don’t try to multitask while driving. Keeping your eyes on the road and not being distracted will save your life and those lives of others around you. Remember to respect everyone’s journey. And hopefully, they will respect yours.

Until next week…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Respect Everyone’s Journey – Comedy Defensive Driving

The post Respect Everyone’s Journey appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Our Texas Defensive Driving Course Will Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket

Lisa — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 11:00:27 +0000

It really is true that if you have a traffic ticket from the State of Texas, you can have it dismissed while you enjoy taking our hilarious course at Comedy Defensive Driving. We offer the #1 course online that is the best way to dismiss your traffic ticket with Texas defensive driving. You do not need to go leave home for this class, because it is offered in the form of a funny video that you watch as you lower your auto insurance rate by up to 10% and dismiss your traffic ticket. All that you need to do to take TX defensive driving online is to register here. You can begin your course in 5 minutes or less. Then, sit back and relax as you watch a funny video on your computer. Here are some facts about our course:
• Low cost of only $25.00
• State approved by all courts in the state
• Course takes only 5 hours plus 1 hour of break time
• 100% satisfaction guarantee
• Rated A+ by BBB
• Fastest certificate delivery options

Texas Defensive Driving Is the Best Option for You

We have the easiest way to take Texas defensive driving online, and you will be finished with your course in no time. One of the best things about our course is that you can stop the video whenever you want to. If you need to go somewhere, simply pause it and resume watching when you can. This means that you are in charge of your course, with no one telling you when you need to be in class. You do not need to take off of work and lose a day’s pay to take our course. Just watch the video whenever you can. Of course, we want you to take it as soon as possible after you get the okay from the court to dismiss your traffic citation this way. That is because you only have so many days to take it. As soon as you finish, we will get your certificate mailed out to you.

The post Our Texas Defensive Driving Course Will Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Laugh While You Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket with Texas Defensive Driving

Lisa — Fri, 21 Feb 2014 11:00:44 +0000

Maybe you did not know that you could actually enjoy yourself as you get rid of that traffic ticket that is causing you so much trouble. Well, it’s true that you can have a great time by registering for Texas defensive driving by Comedy Defensive Driving. We have had more than 3,000,000 drivers pass our course and dismiss their traffic tickets.

Our course is a real bargain for only $25.00, and there are many advantages to taking your course in the comfort of your own home. There is no getting dressed and ready for class, and no boring class to sit through. We offer the #1 comedy course online, and we feature famous actors and comedians in our hilarious videos. Our course is approved by all courts in the State of Texas, so you can be sure that it will count to dismiss your traffic ticket.

Here are a few facts that you will want to know:

• Takes only 5 hours plus 1 hour of break time to complete
• Fastest certificate delivery options
• 100% video for easy viewing
• Satisfaction guaranteed
• A+ rating by Better Business Bureau
• Taught by top comedic talent
• Lower your auto insurance rate by up to 10%

One of the best features of taking our defensive driving online course is that you complete your course according to your schedule. If you want to stop the video to get a drink or a snack, simply resume watching where you left off when you return. Some of our students want to complete the entire class in one sitting, like on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon to get it out of the way. You can choose to take your course that way, or watch one hour a night for 7 days. How you take your course is completely up to you.

Texas Defensive Driving is Easy to Complete

Millions of students have successfully completed our course, and they tell us that it was a breeze. There is no reading or writing involved, and you will easily pass our course. You do need some computer basics to take the course, but chances are good that you already have these. They include an Internet connection, Adobe Flash Player 8.0 or greater, a mouse and keyboard, speakers or headphones, and an Operating System like Mac, PC or Linux. That is all that is needed, except for you to sit there and watch as our comedians entertain you.

Our course is approved by the Texas Education Agency, and it must take a minimum of 360 minutes to complete according to their requirements. Our course will automatically take you to the spot where you left off if you take a break or need to stop to go to work or school. We have built this feature into our course so that you are sure to fulfill the requirements of the State of Texas to dismiss your traffic ticket and to qualify for up to 10% savings on your auto insurance.

Once you complete your course, you will need to mail it to the court that issued your ticket. You have been given instructions by the court that handled your traffic ticket on how to return the required documents to you. You can be sure that we will send out your certificate to you very quickly, and we do process certificates each business day. We also offer expedited shipping if you need to get your certificate very quickly. Our standard delivery is free and is delivered by the USPS within 5 to 9 business days. Priority Overnight shipping is available in most areas and costs $24.95 for estimated next business day delivery by 10:30am.

Standard Overnight delivery will cost you $19.95, and you can expect to receive your certificate with an estimated next business day delivery by 3pm. Remote residential customers receive their certificate by 8pm the next day. You can also order 2nd Day Air for $14.95. This option means that you will receive your certificate on the second business day with an estimated delivery by 4:30pm. Weekend or holiday deliveries are not available, and there is no delivery to post office boxes for overnight service. We use FedEx for expedited shipping, and we cannot anticipate or take responsibility for possible delays due to circumstances beyond our control.

The post Laugh While You Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket with Texas Defensive Driving appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Texas Defensive Driving to Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket

Lisa — Wed, 10 Jul 2013 17:04:47 +0000

Getting a ticket can be a real pain. It is inconvenient, expensive, and it can result in a suspension of your driving rights or other consequences. Taking Texas defensive driving is a great way to get your ticket dismissed. Our course is Court Approved by all Courts in the State of Texas. Many times, you can take our course again even if you have already taken it. If the Court gave you permission to take defensive driving in Austin TX or in another city in Texas, you can take our course in two ways:

• Online Course – All you need is a computer with DSL or Broadband, an Internet browser, Adobe Flash Player 8.0 or greater, a mouse and keyboard, speakers or headphones, and a Mac, Windows, or Linux-based system. Then, simply watch our entertaining video that takes 5 hours to complete, plus 1 hour of break time. It was written by top comedic talent, so you are bound to laugh just like millions of others have who have completed our course. Start and stop at your convenience, and when you are finished, we will send your certificate to you quickly. We send certificates out each day.

• Classroom Course – A great way to meet others and have fun while taking our defensive driving course. You need to be on time and bring a pen and paper plus your driver’s license or state ID. It is also required that you bring your traffic citation or paperwork from the court. Our classroom course is taught by top comedic talent who will entertain you while they instruct you on how to drive safely to avoid getting additional traffic tickets.

Our Texas Defensive Driving Course Is Simple and Easy

Either way that you take our Texas defensive driving course, you will find that it is a simple, easy way to dismiss your ticket.

The post Texas Defensive Driving to Dismiss Your Traffic Ticket appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Our Texas Defensive Driving Course Will Keep You Laughing

Lisa — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:38:38 +0000

At Comedy Defensive Driving, we make it fun for you to get your traffic ticket dismissed. You will be entertained as you take our classroom course that is offered in many Texas locations. Our Texas defensive driving course takes only 360 minutes to complete. This is the minimum amount of time required by the Texas Education Agency. There are 60 minutes throughout the course that are used for break time. Before you know it, your course will be completed and you will soon receive your certificate. You may even be glad that you had to take a defensive driving course since our classroom courses are taught by top comedic talent. We know that when you are entertained and enjoying yourself, you will retain what you learn about driving safety better than if you sat through a boring class. You won’t be bored with our class though, and our course is accepted by all courts in Texas.

Reasons for Taking Our Texas Defensive Driving Course

The two reasons why most people take our Texas defensive driving course are these:

• To have a traffic ticket dismissed

• To have your auto insurance rates reduced by as much as 10%

If you prefer to take our course in the comfort of your home, you can also take our online texas defensive driving course and receive the same benefits. With our online course, you simply need an internet connection. You can stop and start the video whenever you want to, and just resume watching until you finish. Our online course is also entertaining since it was written by comedians. There is no reading and nothing to do except watch the film.

The post Our Texas Defensive Driving Course Will Keep You Laughing appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

A Texas Defensive Driving Course that You Will Enjoy

Lisa — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 18:00:11 +0000

We know that when you take our Texas defensive driving course that you will be pleasantly surprised. Our courses have kept thousands of people laughing as they have their traffic ticket dismissed or their insurance reduced. Driver education has never been so much fun! You can take our online course that was written by comedy professionals. There is no reading and no writing required in our defensive driving classes. All that you need to do is watch the video. Our course is approved by the Texas Education Agency. You also have the option of taking our course in the classroom. Features of our classroom edition include:

• Our classroom course is taught by professional comedians
• There are many locations where you can take the course in many cities throughout Texas
• You will need to bring a pen to class, and to take a test
• A picture ID or your driver’s license – Texas law states that you cannot take a defensive driving course without having the proper identification
• Bring your traffic citation or any paper work that you received from the court – This will prevent delays in delivering your certificate
• Arrange to arrive 15 minutes before class because State law does not allow instructors to admit anyone who is late
• Bring meal money – There are times during the course that you can eat or drink
Our Texas Defensive Driving Course is Accepted by all Courts in Texas
Our Texas defensive driving course is approved by the Texas Education Agency and is accepted by all courts in Texas to dismiss traffic tickets. Our course can also lower insurance rated by up to 10 percent. If you have any questions, please complete the form online and we will reply shortly.

The post A Texas Defensive Driving Course that You Will Enjoy appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

When You Don’t Have Time for Your Texas Defensive Driving Class

Lisa — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 09:30:51 +0000

The simple fact is many of us have such an incredibly busy life between jobs, kids in school and after school functions, there isn’t enough time for anything else. So when the judge tells you that you can pay your traffic ticket or attend a Texas defensive driving class, you end up paying the ticket and taking the consequences.

You Can Take Your Texas Defensive Driving Class Online

When this is what your life looks like, you do have an alternative. You can take your Texas defensive driving class online and avoid paying your ticket. By taking it online, you will be able to take the class in small intervals when you have time, instead of spending six hours in a classroom. You get the same material and certificate at the end, and most

The post When You Don’t Have Time for Your Texas Defensive Driving Class appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.

Texas Defensive Driving Class Offer You More Than Just a Clean Driving Record

Lisa — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 09:00:33 +0000

While most people will take a Texas defensive driving classes to get a ticket dropped and keep their driving record clean, there are many other reasons why taking this class can be a good idea. When you take a defensive driving class, you are learning ways to stay safe and legal behind the wheel. While it may seem silly now, attending this class just might save your life someday.

Texas defensive driving classes can also offer you more tangible benefits, as well. Not only will taking this class prevent your insurance from going up due to too many tickets, you may even find that you actually get a discount for taking the class. Not all insurance companies offer this discount, so call your agent today to find out.

The post Texas Defensive Driving Class Offer You More Than Just a Clean Driving Record appeared first on Comedy Defensive Driving®.