Texas drivers Archives - Comedy Defensive Driving® Wed, 06 Apr 2022 20:44:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.1 The Fog https://dev.comedydefensivedriving.com/the-fog/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:26:26 +0000 http://comedydefensivedriving.com/blog/?p=167 I was driving down a lonely highway in the middle of the Louisiana Bayou, somewhere between Morrow and Opelousas.  Ghost fog would blanket with a haunting surprise that no headlights could warn.  You couldn’t see the front of the hood with this thick, evil fog.  I’ve seen horror movies that start out this way.  After…

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]]> I was driving down a lonely highway in the middle of the Louisiana Bayou, somewhere between Morrow and Opelousas.  Ghost fog would blanket with a haunting surprise that no headlights could warn.  You couldn’t see the front of the hood with this thick, evil fog.  I’ve seen horror movies that start out this way.  After the fog would disappear for a couple of seconds, I kinda expected to see a Night of the Living Dead Cajun holding an axe standing in the middle of the road with voodoo creatures standing around him….

That’s as far as I got when I hit my writer’s block.  OK, when I got this assignment to write about fog I must admit I was skeptical at first.  I mean how was I gonna make “Fog” interesting, funny, controversial and educational at the same time?  My writing skills would be put to the test.  I would need reinforcement on this one, so I pulled out a joint!  Just kidding, stand-up comedians and writers do NOT smoke marijuana or any other kind of illegal substances. 

First let’s talk about the safety aspect of driving in the fog.

1.       Drive with your low beams.  High beams only reflect the fog back into your windshield, blinding you even more.   It’s nice to be able to see when you drive.

2.       Slow down, duh!!

3.       Use the right edge of the road or the right painted white line as a guide.  You people from the disco 70’s know all about following the white line.

4.       If you are in dense fog, pull off the road as far as possible, turn off all the lights and get away from your car.  Drivers tend to follow tail lights when driving in fog.  And if you get hit by another car that will ruin the rest of your night, I promise.

All right, let’s finish out our story… As I drove down the highway that civilization forgot.  I couldn’t help but having an overwhelming feeling of intrigue and I needed to use the restroom, really bad!  Yes Mother Nature can dish out some forces to be recon with.  We will always have to deal with other driver’s stupidity, the distractions that we create and the inclement weather elements.  But if we just slow down a second, take a step back, the outside forces don’t seem that bad.  And man, I am sure glad I found a restroom!

Join me again next week and keep your comments coming in.

 

Take care and be safe-

Danny Keaton

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]]> Signs, signs everywhere there’s signs https://dev.comedydefensivedriving.com/signs-signs-everywhere-theres-signs/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:56:22 +0000 http://comedydefensivedriving.com/blog/?p=162 OK, this one’s for my counter culture, artists, renegades and rouges.  It’s in our basic nature to defy authority and signs that warns us of danger.  You know the Scorpion and the Frog?  “… It’s our character!”  We will never change.  Everything from cigarette warning labels to speed limit signs, we give the one finger…

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]]> OK, this one’s for my counter culture, artists, renegades and rouges.  It’s in our basic nature to defy authority and signs that warns us of danger.  You know the Scorpion and the Frog?  “… It’s our character!”  We will never change.  Everything from cigarette warning labels to speed limit signs, we give the one finger salute!  Why is that?  I smoke… (cigarettes) I know the dangers, yet I still light a stogie and toss down a few brews at the local neighborhood bars in Dallas.  The cigarette warning label didn’t even faze me.  And as for the beer bottle warning, well..I’m not pregnant and I’m not gonna be a man whore anymore.  When I see a stop sign and there is no one around, do I come to a complete stop, well…maybe.  Now some would say “Yes, I obey all signs and rules.”   These people I call bible beaters, hypocrites and politicians.   I’m not afraid to piss anybody off!  Besides those people don’t read me anyway, only you the cool people read me.  OK, enough kissing ass.

What I am trying to say is, certain signs are good…(Oh shit, I’m selling out so I can get paid!)  I mean if we didn’t have signs that direct traffic and regulate the speed of our vehicles, it wouldn’t be a Wonderful World, sorry Louie!  I think the next time I see a warning sign, I will heed that warning…(Oh no, the man’s got me!)  Next time I see a stop sign, I will stop behind the stop line until the car has come to a complete stop…( Oh man, I’m turning to the dark side of conformity!)  Just kidding, there is nothing wrong with following the rules of the road.  You can still stick to the man in other ways, like…Oh hell, I don’t know, watch Fight Club.  I’m sure you could be inspired to come up of some of your own. 

As far as the Scorpion and the Frog story, watch the movie Skin Deep (John Ritter, 1989) for the explanation on that one.  Besides, the man doesn’t pay me to waste words on that gem of a story.  And if you are reading this blog 3 weeks after the post date, than means my boss must be a rebel too.

Join me again next Monday, thanks for all the comments and e-mails!

 

Take care and be safe!-

Danny Keaton

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