And, I will make an effort to become a better driver. I really need to set a better example for my defensive driving students in 2014. Yes, I joke about being pulled over and getting one ticket in 2013. And I joke about getting out of another ticket in 2013. And, it’s all true. It really happened. But prior to 2013, I hadn’t gotten a ticket in nearly 26 years. Of course, the ticket I received this year was on my way to teach a defensive driving class. I took a right turn at a stop sign and didn’t stop long enough for my car to “settle.” Three seconds is what they teach in driver’s education now. The law doesn’t indicate that you have to stop for a period of “time” but that your car has to “settle.” So, three seconds will ensure that your car has settled. That’s not a bad habit to get into. I think I’ve got that one down, now that I’ve paid my dues for my mistake. And, I didn’t tell the police officer that I taught defensive driving in an attempt to get out of my ticket. I didn’t want to get a lecture. I was already detained enough. Then, this summer, I got out of a ticket because I told the trooper I teach defensive driving. He pulled me over because he said I didn’t signal. I did signal, but I shut it off before I completed my lane change. I knew exactly what I did wrong. One of my big pet peeves is the “eternal signaler.” Someone who forgets their turn signal is on and leaves it on for eternity. So, I have a bad habit of keeping my hand on my turn signal and shutting it off prematurely so I don’t forget about it and leave it on. It’s a habit that I am still trying to break, so that is going on this year’s resolution list as well. I told that trooper that I was so embarrassed. I teach defensive driving and I always lecture my students to use their signal at all times. Even when no one is around. Even when they’re pulling into their own darned driveway. Because cops write piddly little tickets for piddly little stuff. He said “Really? You say that to your students?” And he let me go without a lecture or a ticket.

I also need to take better care of my car. Of course, I do the basics…oil changes, fluids, belts and hoses. But I really need to flush my radiator, rotate my tires, balance them and a few other things that I haven’t been doing. And, I need to drive the speed limit, even at the risk of making other people angry. So, happy new year everyone. I hope 2014 is a good year for us all.

Until next year…

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Happy New Year – Comedy Defensive Driving

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Labor Day has a whole new kind of meaning for those of us who have given birth. Why don’t they have a day for us? Oh, that’s right, they do. It’s called Mother’s Day. Or, “CPS Day” for some of us. Here’s a little nugget of knowledge to hang on to. Did you know that CPS will babysit for FREE! And, if you play your cards right, they will babysit for YEARS! But some of you mothers already know that. I am curious, why doesn’t Mothers Day ever come on a Monday? And why isn’t it a paid holiday, and a long week end? That way, mothers that slur can start celebrating at 5:00 p.m. on Friday and stay in the celebratory mode until late Monday evening?

Drinking on long week ends makes Labor Day travel even more of a risky venture. Not only are there drunk drivers on the roads but also hungover drivers with the brown bottle flu. Drivers with slow reflexes, anger issues and some with a death wish. Surely you’ll see some of them weaving and drifting their way back home. That has to be tough on the kiddos being towed behind the car in your boat. They thought it would be all fun and games. You thought it would be an excellent form of punishment. After all, you are the parent…the adult…the decision maker.

The American Red Cross offers tips for safe Labor Day travel. Be well rested and alert, use your seat belts, observe speed limits and follow the rules of the road. If you plan on drinking alcohol, designate a driver who won’t drink. The Red Cross also offers other tips for road trip safety.

• Give your full attention to the road. Avoid distractions such as cell phones.
• Don’t follow another vehicle too closely.
• Use caution in work zones.
• Make frequent stops.
• Clean your vehicle’s lights and windows to help you see, especially at night.
• Turn your headlights on as dusk approaches or during inclement weather.
• Don’t overdrive your headlights.

And remember, each state you travel through has its own traffic laws. In some states, you can’t take a right turn at a red light, nor a left turn at a red light onto a one way road from a one way road. You may also be required to have a license plate on both the back and the front of your car. Keep your insurance card handy. Use your signals no matter what, even if you’re in a designated turn lane. Never cross over a double solid line. And the 10% “cushion” over the speed limit doesn’t always apply. Police say the speed limit sign means what it says. It’s the “limit” and if you go over that limit, they could write you a ticket. Some states now require that you follow the officer to the local courthouse and pay your ticket in a deposit box before leaving their state. This economy has resulted in some sad, desperate measures.

Happy Labor Day travels from Comedy Defensive Driving to you and yours.

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist / Idea Mogul

Labor Day Travel – Comedy Defensive Driving

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North America is getting a new facelift, thats why we have all these summer construction zones. I hope it doesn’t end up looking like Joan Rivers…what a freak! It seems like they are doing construction on all of the freeways in every state. If your vacation time means taking a road trip, look out for summer construction zones…they’re everywhere. Not only are construction zones dangerous for workers, but for drivers as well. In Texas alone, there were 17,000 crashes in roadway work zones in 2012. Those crashes resulted in 134 deaths. Narrow lanes, curves, barriers and driver inattention have contributed to many of these accidents. As for the workers, The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that Texas ranked as the state with the most worker deaths in work zones in 2011. Thank goodness it has decreased, but not by much.

Apparently, signs alone don’t always work. So, some states have implemented “rumble strips” as an additional safety measure in construction zones. The Texas Department of Public Safety just spent over 4 million dollars on the strips and they are currently only installing them on rural highways. These are laid ahead of a construction zone and are apparently like mini speed bumps. Their purpose is to get a drivers attention, slow them down and make them aware that they are entering a work zone. If you are caught speeding in a work zone with workers present, your traffic fine will double. So, perhaps rumble strips which are put into place to remind us that we are approaching a work zone will save us a costly ticket as well. So it’s like a double-whammy.

If you are going on a trip this summer, check ahead of time and see where construction is currently being done on your route. You may want to take an alternate route, if possible. And, try to remain alert for all signage when you are driving on your trip so you don’t miss any of those important summer construction zones.

Until next week,

Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

Summer Construction Zones – Comedy Defensive Driving

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