I seem to always be the last passenger to board the plane. The only seat left on the plane was in the “crying baby” section. It was exactly what I deserved for not arriving on time. So, I put in my ear buds to block out some of the crying, as to “appear” to be listening to music (although it wasn’t plugged into anything, so I must have looked like a knucklehead). This inspired me to come up with a “Personal Space Kit for Travelers.” The kit will include a life-like baby doll that one can prop in the middle seat so no one will sit in your row. And a pair of sound-canceling headphones for you to wear so you won’t be able to hear “is this seat taken?” Of course, the baby will have matching headphones so other passengers won’t speak to it, either. Perhaps also a cigar for you both. No smoking on the plane? Sorry, I didn’t hear that announcement with these giant ear muff headphones.

SPEEDING vs. DRIVING TOO SLOW

I was doing a crossword puzzle on the plane and got stumped on “A Traffic Cop’s Concern.” That’s an easy one, I thought. But “quota” wouldn’t fit in the boxes. The answer was “speeding.” But speeding is no longer a leading cause for motor vehicle collisions. Driving too slow or not keeping up with traffic flow is currently the leading cause. Like the correct answer, speeding seems to be the leading cause of traffic tickets. But, I have, in my 8+ years of teaching defensive driving, only instructed one student who had been cited for driving too slow. So, why still write speeding tickets? It is fact that slow drivers cause more traffic accidents than speeders. But it is also proven that the high-impact from speeding crashes cause the fatalities, because “speed kills.” I would wager a bet that there are not many speeders in those states that have legalized marijuana.

MINIMUM SPEED LIMIT SIGNS

Any state I have traveled to within the past year all have minimum speed limit signs. My state (at least in my area) does not. But I know we used to have them. Perhaps they removed them all and stored them in a big warehouse somewhere and then sold them to another state. They should definitely put them back up, if driving too slow is the current leading cause for car crashes. Perhaps if it’s posted with signage, a driver can then be cited for driving too slow. That is one ticket that they should absolutely be writing!

Until next week…
Daun Thompson
Writer / Comedienne / Artist

NOT KEEPING UP WITH TRAFFIC FLOW – Comedy Defensive Driving