I read an article claiming that women can’t keep a secret for longer than 32 minutes (or was it 32 seconds…I can’t recall…I was too busy talking). Maybe its just that some of us like to hear ourselves talk. I had a guy about my age in my class who wrote on the teacher evaluation of me “She’s a talker.” What the heck?? I’m supposed to talk. I was teaching! What does he prefer to do? Give him the silent treatment for six hours…like every other girl he knows?? Another kid in the class wrote “She’s funny (looking).  The brat!
So I’m a talker and I can’t keep a secret. Oi! At my age, I’d be lucky to remember a secret for longer than 32 minutes (or seconds). So, as far as I am concerned, I had better get to passing that sucker on while it’s still fresh in my head.  Actually, did they really mean secret or confession?  Offhand, I can’t think of any juicy secrets of my own. But confessions? Now that’s another story. I suppose my biggest secret (or perhaps it’s more of a confession), I haven’t changed my oil since 2008. Another? Whenever there’s a knocking, pinging or grinding sound while I’m driving, I just turn up the radio to drown it out. Voila!
You can’t think of anything to confess? How about this? When was the last time you read that car manual? You know, the one that came with your car. The one in that pristine factory-sealed plastic bag that has never been opened. The only thing in your car that still looks new? If you ask around, a majority of people have never even perused their manual. That’s surprising, since there are some uber important tidbits of information within your car manual. Such as how your ABS (anti-lock brake system) works. How to disengage/engage your air bags. Where that fuse box is located. Where your spare tire is stored, as well as the ever-so-crucial “jack”.  Oh well, that’s what roadside assistance is for, eh? There’s usually an 800 number on the back of your drivers license for that.  And, in most cases, it’s free (you’re already paying for it with your tax dollars anyway). But don’t drop your AAA or auto insurance roadside assistance. It won’t pay to have you towed when you can’t find that jack!
Until next week…crack open that manual.  Take a peek at it.  Make a holiday trivia game out of the information within it.  And for cying out loud, have a happy holiday.
Daun Thompson

Category: driving safety tips
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Author: Daun Thompson

Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.