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Backseat Driver

Backseat Driver (băk’sēt’) noun  

  • A person who persists in giving unsolicited advice.
  • A passenger who constantly advises, corrects, or nags the driver of a motor vehicle.
  • My boyfriend  (a.k.a the Armchair Quarterback … or A.Q. for short … he seems to know better than the players themselves and is always eager to shout advice. Where’s the darned “eject” button when you need it? Austin Powers had one!

Most back seat drivers shout their commands or list of distastes from the back seat. Where they are totally out of reach of the driver.  Not fair!  My suggestion?  Carry a flyswatter under the front seat. (By the way, Flyswatter is also a noun : A flyswatter is a hand-held device for killing flies and other pests.)

I have been driving for 35 years (43 if you count the years that I drove my drunk pappy home from the bar).  So, who seems to know how to drive better than I do?

Did you know Android has an app called “Back Seat Driver”?  What’s an Android? I have no idea. But you should get one for your baby. As long as he has to ride in the back seat, he may as well be practicing to be a backseat driver.  Practice makes perfect, you know. My daughter is 16, been out of the booster seat for over 11 years and still rides in the back seat.  Not for safety sake…she just doesn’t want to be seen with me. At least she doesn’t nag me about my driving from back there. Of course, she has her headphones on and she’s checking her email on her phone the whole time.  So, she’s just too busy to be bothered with my driving habits.

With so many distractions in the car as it is, having a backseat driver just adds fuel to the fire.  So, if you’re mister TYPE A who just loves to distract the person hauling your butt around by barking at every little maneuver that you don’t agree with, just remember…they can put you out at the bus stop. Then you can sit behind the bus driver and nag him or her all the way home. They just love that!

Until next week… let your chauffeur drive and just enjoy the ride.

Daun Thompson

Daun Thompson: Daun Thompson has spent years acting in both film and theatre which has been paramount in launching her onto the comedy stage (incidentally, without a helmet, resulting in a nasty concussion). Being a funny girl is a full time job. A job that she hopes that one day will come with dental benefits and a 401K. Unlike her work, she is biodegradable, yet flame retardant. And gentle to the touch. Her goal in life??? For strangers to approach her and ask "Didn't you used to be somebody?" In the late 1980's she cut her teeth at the Velveeta Room on 6th Street in Austin, Texas ... the original room with the stripper pole. From there, she moved to northern California and worked with many comedy icons, like Mitch Hedberg, Marc Maron, Colin Quinn, Vic Dunlop, Huck Flyn, Michael Mancini, Doug Ferrari, Shang and Brian Posehn. Daun has been a licensed driver safety instructor and trainer with Comedy Defensive Driving for over 9 years. Her knowledge of driving safety laws keeps her readers informed and engaged with her blog adventures. She still continues to do stand-up comedy, sometimes in a reclining position...just to be different.