Today is Halloween. And, with all of those little goblins and witches out there, not to mention the ones in the Amy Winehouse Rehab costumes, we want to be on our best behavior when driving through neighborhoods.
It’s bad enough when you’re not paying attention in an area swarming with pedestrians. But drinking on top of it could be really bad news.
And, even if you are super careful and don’t flatten a kid, you could still get a trick (dwi) and a treat (being put in a cell with a girly-looking guy named Bubba). Your first offense for driving while intoxicated, at least here in Texas, is a $2,000 fine (by the way, that’s approximately 1550 Snickers bars) and possibly up to 180 days in jail (with your new girlfriend, Bubba, who happens to love Snickers bars). Plus you’ll have one great costume to wear (perhaps in a shocking pumpkin orange or in a nice chain-gang black and white stripe). You’ll definitely have to spend at least 3 days in jail (just enough time for them to tailor your costume to fit). You could lose your drivers license for up to a year (and get it back just in time for Halloween, 2012). I think there’s a special costume for losers who don’t have a driver license…it’s called the forever single costume. And, just to seal the deal, you’ll have to pay a $1,000 annual surcharge for the next three years. You only think it’s over. But they keep reminding you of the terrible mistake you made by sending you a bill monthly or quarterly until you can no longer afford gas or booze (great tactic). And providing alcohol to minors is a whopping $4,000. So don’t even think about it. As they always say to me at Neiman-Marcus… “You can’t afford it.”
AlcoholScreening.org helps people assess their drinking patterns to see if alcohol is likely to be harming their health. And, no, they don’t share your information with Johnny Law and set you up. Your information is private. They do give you the option to share the website with someone you know who might benefit from the site, though. Do this, and you may just get your butt kicked by your drunken friend. But it’s a cool website. Check it out just for fun.
Until next week…stay safe.
Daun Thompson