Hey there, mister high-strung! With road rage becoming a common household topic, it’ll put a smile on your face to know that more and more websites are springing up where you can “voice” that rage. Or, to simply voice an observation of the absolute idiot you saw on the road today.
One such website is YouParkLikeAnA__Hole.com. Some are offended by the site’s name. But, come on, isn’t it appropriate? Here, if you are sick of a car taking up two spaces or parked entirely too close to yours, you can submit photos and complain about it. They also have a notice that you can download and place on the car’s windshield. Perhaps this will put an “end” to a-hole parking (pun intended). Or, at least make fun of it.
And, what about that person weaving back-and-forth, driving under the speed limit? When I was a kid, that person was likely driving drunk. Now, you get up along side them and they’re on the cell phone. Of course, if they’re crying on the cell phone, they’re probably drunk. And texting’s even worse. It’s a proven fact that you are 400x more likely to be involved in a crash if you text and drive. That’s equivalent to drinking and driving…you’re also 400x more likely to be involved in a crash if you’re drinking and driving. So, if you’re texting and drinking…damn! That’s like 800x! And now there’s a website for that. TWI (Texting While Intoxicated) (twiapp.com). The best one today?It was a picture message…of a girl passed out, face-down on someone’s lawn. Message: “No officer. She just really enjoys the smell of grass…..”A few more great ones, “Dude i just had sex with cinderella at disnyworld i think i can cross that one off my bucket list.”“You should never set the cruise control after drinking for 12 hours…” (picture of truck in a pond).And, the comments people make are the icing on the hate cake.
Another drinking while texting site which may have actually been the predecessor to the above site is Texts From Last Night (textsfromlastnight.com). A few greats…”I just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. I need to STOP SMOKING THIS SH_T.”“Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home.”“I made a cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.”“My math teach staples burger kind applications to failed tests.”
Craigslist is also a great place to vent and/or get a good laugh out of other people’s venting. Furniture is a main selling item on Craigslist. And, remember, if you’re going to haul furniture on the freeway, stay in the right lane (a.k.a. the slow lane). Yes, if you have a buddy in the back of your pick-up truck, bodysurfing on a mattress…keep it in the right lane. And, if you drive to a stranger’s home to view some lovely furniture that was listed on Craigslist…there’s no need to speed. Trust me…it’s not that lovely. Want a good laugh Check out The Best Of Craigslist (left column of the home page). Here a few favorite titles:
A few pointers from your friendly neighborhood locomotive engineer…
Greetings from your friendly HWY 17 bus driver…
To the guy who tailgated me for 20 miles this morning…
To the slow winter drivers…
All I ever wanted was to be woken up by your car alarm…
Lost your teeth? They’re poolside.
Free Kool-Aid Costume:and the copy… It was built as part of an elaborate prank to bust through a wall. Unfortunately due to its large size it had to be cut in half to be taken out of my basement. But a little bit of duct tape and spray paint will have him as good as new in no time!
Autographed Copy of the Bible:and the copy… I’ve read it three times. Pretty boring.
Until next week … laugh it off … life’s too short!
Daun Thompson
(Daun Thompson is a comedienne, artist and writer residing in Dallas, Texas)