I was driving down a lonely highway in the middle of the Louisiana Bayou, somewhere between Morrow and Opelousas. Ghost fog would blanket with a haunting surprise that no headlights could warn. You couldn’t see the front of the hood with this thick, evil fog. I’ve seen horror movies that start out this way. After the fog would disappear for a couple of seconds, I kinda expected to see a Night of the Living Dead Cajun holding an axe standing in the middle of the road with voodoo creatures standing around him….
That’s as far as I got when I hit my writer’s block. OK, when I got this assignment to write about fog I must admit I was skeptical at first. I mean how was I gonna make “Fog” interesting, funny, controversial and educational at the same time? My writing skills would be put to the test. I would need reinforcement on this one, so I pulled out a joint! Just kidding, stand-up comedians and writers do NOT smoke marijuana or any other kind of illegal substances.
First let’s talk about the safety aspect of driving in the fog.
1. Drive with your low beams. High beams only reflect the fog back into your windshield, blinding you even more. It’s nice to be able to see when you drive.
2. Slow down, duh!!
3. Use the right edge of the road or the right painted white line as a guide. You people from the disco 70’s know all about following the white line.
4. If you are in dense fog, pull off the road as far as possible, turn off all the lights and get away from your car. Drivers tend to follow tail lights when driving in fog. And if you get hit by another car that will ruin the rest of your night, I promise.
All right, let’s finish out our story… As I drove down the highway that civilization forgot. I couldn’t help but having an overwhelming feeling of intrigue and I needed to use the restroom, really bad! Yes Mother Nature can dish out some forces to be recon with. We will always have to deal with other driver’s stupidity, the distractions that we create and the inclement weather elements. But if we just slow down a second, take a step back, the outside forces don’t seem that bad. And man, I am sure glad I found a restroom!
Join me again next week and keep your comments coming in.
Take care and be safe-
Danny Keaton